Sooooooooo... I wanna come out to my mom. Like the over thinker I am I can't decide if my plan is good or not. I have like a huuuuge problem with talking about things to people, so my active plan is to put a letter addressed to her in a super obvious spot on Friday night (I'm usually the last one up) and let her find it on Saturday morning. Is that weird?!?!?!? I'm honestly so overthinking this I guess I just need some help knowing if my plan is stupid or not.
Not at all! I've seen this approach suggested to people a number of times in this forum. It gives you the chance to carefully articulate your thoughts and feelings without the emotions of nerves and such getting in the way. It helps the other party too as they can read it and get over the initial emotional reaction before coming to you with questions. I've seen advice to suggest that you prepare answers to likely questions so that you're not caught off guard as best you can.
Letters are a good idea. However I would suggest not writing anything super personal in case she shows it to other people or someone else comes across it first before she does. It has happened to me and the letter got passed around to family and friends without any regard for my privacy. Gossip is wildfire and It was scaring to say the least. Definitely empathize in the letter not to share it physically or verbally with other people. I view letters as icebreakers and you can communicate what you really want to say to the intended recipient in person. I'm not trying to freak you out but that has been my experience. There will probably be a conversation with your mother after the letter and some uncomfortable questions about your sexuality. Take some time to think of what these questions may be and what answers you are willing to give. Whether it is a letter or a conversation, Don't go into it with any expectations. The goal is to come out of the closet and see if she'll accept you or not. Anything good after that is a bonus.
