It was probably dumb of me to think so, but I always believed that when a gay or bi person came out, it was some big event of an announcement. A ripping the bandage off all at once. I guess celebrities get that big announcement, but for normal people, it seems to be a series of never-ending little conversations. Peeling that bandage off little by little, and there's always going to be more bandage simply because most people go through life assuming you are straight until proven otherwise. It's especially tedious when you yourself are not sure of what exactly your sexuality is, where you fit. People seem to have a strong urge to file you away in one drawer or another. If you're not 100% straight, 100% gay or the perfect 50/50 bi, they don't know what to do with you.
I've had people tell me I'm joking, people who have been weirded out, people obsessing about the details, people asking me why (girls mainly, guys get it). Its been pretty wild. A lot of people define themselves by their sexuality too (both straight and gay). It's never been a defining thing about me. I suppose I look & act straight, I've got a long term opposite sex partner, so its easier for me to dodge those conversations if I want just by saying nothing and letting them assume I'm straight, but it annoys me that I feel like I had better keep it to myself to avoid 'judgement'.
It's a never-ending process, sjtho1983. A lifetime's task. Because even in 2023 it is still assumed that people are heterosexual. Beth x
oh yeah 100%, ive come out to my parents( who don't seem impressed), my aunt( very supportive), most kids at my school know( not by choice, it happened via rumours ahhhh). my aunt was talking about how I may not be able to do the deb ball( debutant, Aussie thing) when I get to year 12, as the club my school does it through may not support lesbians and it would mean I would have to come out to everyone. Im still conjuring the courage to tell some of my extended family too.
sjtho1983.....Coming out is different for everyone. For a lot of the LGBTQ Family it is an ongoing process that happens over and over as people generally assume that people are straight. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's going to be a while before that assumption changes. Some LGBTQ guys are so typically fem that there is an automatic assumption, even when it's wrong. I have a friend who says that he never came out. He says that he was always just who he was and everybody just knew he was gay. He's not "over-the-top" but he just doesn't try to hide his sexuality and you don't have to be around him for very long to know that he's gay. Nobody that knows me when I have come out to them has ever thought that I might be gay. I've always got the "You're kidding me" response. Several times I had to really work to convince the other person that I really am gay. We are all different and it the coming out experience is different, to a degree, for all of us. .....David
