Hey, I am considering coming out to a friend. I don't know why I am so nervous about it because I have come out before to others, just not them. I know they won't be upset but this time it feels... Different. I have never sat down and planned on coming out. I mean I have thought about it (A LOT) but most of the time when I come out it’s because I was asked or it has came up in a conversation. I have never been like “we need to have a talk”. I guess what I am trying to say is this: 1. Any advice for coming out to someone where the conversation will be completely about coming out and nothing else? 2. Does anyone else feel like coming out is a continuous process that one does over and over again or does it feel like a one time thing and everything else is just like a reverberation of that one time? Kind of like throwing a pebble in a pond; does coming out feel like throwing one pebble in a pond and then another and another (where each pebble is a time coming out) or does it feel more like throwing one in and watching the reverberations (where every time you tell someone you're lgbtq+ it feels like it is built on that one initial coming out experience)? I’m just curious as to how people view coming out. I lean towards the former personally but I also feel like the latter applies to me as well to a degree. Thank you!
Hi there! Is there a possibility for you to be able to wait until you have a conversation or a chat with them where you could come similarly to the last occasions where you have come out? If you feel that this is not possible, and perhaps it might feel a bit harder to do, I would suggest to make it as uneventful as you can. In other words, try not to make it 'different' than from other times. Perhaps having thought about it a bit too much at this point, makes it seem to be more difficult and is contributing to you feeling more nervous. Personally, I felt that coming out is a continuous process; over time though, it has become less important, and in particular after I came out to everybody who I felt needed to know. I will of course still come out to new friends, co-workers, etc...however, it feels qualitatively different and I will use phrases, experiences that will let somebody listening know that I'm gay.
Maybe I have over thought this. I know they won’t be upset and they will support me. I haven’t quite reached that point where I have told everyone I want to in my life that I’m gay and this friend is one of those people. While it is a big deal for me to tell them, perhaps I should let it come out naturally like you said (no pun intended).