Thanks for clicking, yeah I’m really confused about my sexuality and would love someone else’s perspective. I feel like I may be a Lesbian. I’m more than okay with that! I am very attracted to women both sexually and romantically…but I still have feelings towards certain men. Romantic feelings. It’s rare but when it does happen it confuses me greatly. I don’t want sex with a man but I’d love to explore a romantic relationship with one. (Though I very much doubt that will ever come to be and don’t look for it.) I have no idea if this is lingering comphet or if I’m actually bisexual (which feels wrong) or if I can be both a Lesbian but asexual with guys? Ugh. This is soooo confusing!!!
Hi Marss, I’m sorry that you’re feeling confused about your sexuality. Are there any experiences in your past that would cause you to not want to have sex with men? Could it be something that stems from trauma? There’s no evidence to suggest that romantic and sexual attraction can be separated. So if it’s not stemming from trauma, then I think it’s fair to be guided by your instinct on this. Only you can define your sexuality and I do think there’s something in how a label feels.
This one's pretty simple: You're seeking close friendship with men. It has nothing to do with "romantic attraction" (in part because there's no credible evidence there's a discordant separation between sexual and romantic orientation), and it's quite common for lesbians to have awesome friendships with men (straight or gay) and for gay men to have awesome friendships with women.
Hello, @Marss! I think it's more than likely that you're experiencing the remnants of heteronormativity. If you can't see yourself in an intimate relationship with men but you can with women, then I think it's a very real possibility that you are lesbian. It's also possible--though unlikely--that you're bisexual with a strong preference for women. I say this is unlikely because 1) you yourself feel the bisexual label doesn't feel right to your experience, and 2) your lack of sexual/physical desire for men. I hope this helps, and wish you luck in your exploration of your sexual orientation.
