1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bi-curious lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by alyxya, Dec 4, 2017.

  1. alyxya

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So here's the thing. I've known I was a lesbian ever since I was 14 and started having fantasies about girls, noticing that guys weren't really my thing. I've always been pretty open about it and it's never really been an issue. I've dated a couple of girls and then got into a serious relationship with the girl I'm still with (I'm now 26, we've been together 5 years). I am a very sexual person and have a high libido, so I've always masturbated a lot and have had all sorts of fantasies about many different women.
    So here's the catch: I've always liked reading fan fiction on the internet, almost exclusively male/male, just because I feel like I identify more with the characters, but in the last couple of years I started reading erotic fan fiction as well (still only male/male) and realized it really turned me on. At first I was really freaked out about it because I had never really experienced sexual attraction to men, so the idea of getting off by reading about men having sex with each other was really weird to me, also because when I got over my initial reluctance and started masturbating to it, I quickly realized those were the best orgasms I had ever had (not just masturbating, I mean at all). I sort of accepted that concept without having to "rethink" my sexuality, mostly because I tried watching gay porn and it didn't really do much for me (translated: not into dick).
    Lately though I've had a celebrity male crush that I first didn't think much of (it wasn't the first one), but now I've started masturbating about it and it's really freaking me out. I should also say that I've had a couple of guy crushes in the past (one of which was somebody I knew) and they have always been on guys that either are gay or I perceive as such. Also, the erotic fan fiction I read is always about the same few people, it doesn't "work" with just about anyone. If a guy who's generally perceived as hot were to hit on me I would not sleep with him (also cause I'm in a monogamous relationship, but that's not what I mean) but if this crush I have did, I think I'd go for it, which I have never thought I'd do before (once again, we're talking in theory because relationship, and also it would never happen anyway because we're talking about a famous guy).
    Is this a thing? Can I be a lesbian and be attracted to a very small number of gay-ish guys? Also I should point out that by "gay" I don't mean "effeminate", they could be different kinds of body types and masculinity/femininity.
    I'm sorry this was so long but I tried to give as many elements as possible in order to be clear. I would really appreciate any kind of input you may have.
    Thank you.
     
  2. Loves books

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Messages:
    1,480
    Likes Received:
    103
    Location:
    Ireland
    I read straight fiction with very descriptive sex scenes which get me turned on but if one of those guys magically materialised and propositioned me I'd run the other way. Maybe it's that fact that in erotica sex is so romanticised and written so well that you get a look in to their feelings and not just their actions which could be why erotica works. Also sexuality isn't just about who you're attracted to or who you sleep with it's about who you fall in love with. And if you happen to be attracted to a couple of guys you can still be a lesbian. And if you happen to be bi-curious or bi- sexual what would really change in your life.
     
  3. alyxya

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks for the reply!
    I just think it's weird, you know? I feel like I'm passed the years of sexual exploration, and I feel like fantasizing about me and a guy instead of just guys with each other "crossed a line" (like, if a straight guy were to tell me this I'd be telling him I think he's bi). And I know there would be nothing wrong with it, but it still feels weird and kind of a big deal.
     
  4. Loves books

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Messages:
    1,480
    Likes Received:
    103
    Location:
    Ireland
    There's no age limit to discovering your sexuality. You can be 8 or 80 when you figure out what you like.