Being ruled by my emotions

You and I are alike in that respect. One day I feel confident and other days I am doubting myself. I am hoping that something will happen in my life that gives me good direction. I think joining this website may be a great start to finally understanding who I am.

 

Many people here at EC are familiar with this pattern. Sometimes its described as a 'roller coaster' other times that coming out is not a straight line but a zig zag with some steps forward and back.

It's often tied into stress and anxiety levels and other things you might be experiencing. Also remember you're running over all your thoughts and assumptions about yourself and those thoughts might appear as doubts but try to see them as questions.

Also for me, fear masqueraded as doubt. I realized I didn't doubt being gay, I feared other people knowing.

I would suggest reading other people's stories here and also try journaling or writing out what you're feeling. you don't have to show anyone and you can throw it away when you're done but sometimes putting thoughts to pen and paper help.

 

You need this, *Hugs* I think Searching2022 is onto something. A life built around the presumption of heterosexually is not something that becomes untangled overnight, and it comes with much anxiety and fear, which can cloud true heart feelings.

 

I’ve had to reassess my sexuality multiple times, and how I feel about it. Since I’m still in the early stages of discovering what it means to me. When I read other people’s stories on here, it seems like a very normal thing they go through too.

 

In that sense, I think it provides comfort to know you're not alone.

 

I agree, for me it is very comforting to talk about things I have no other person I can discuss things with.

 

When I was younger I felt that way about my sexuality. Some days I was sure I was a lesbian other days I thought I might be bisexual. I did have brief thoughts I might be asexual when I got older and liked the idea of loving someone without the physical aspect. I never thought I was straight though and once I got to the age I thought about sex I got grossed out by male parts and I knew I never wanted to deal with that but female parts weren’t so bad.

 

Sounds like your own the right track to me. It takes time to sort it out. There’s so much fear and confusion. Personally i think that’s a good thing. It forces us to to find our own truth. BTW, there will be mistakes along the journey. It’s meant to happen. When we get there though, we know. I mean we know without any doubt. Then we have to figure out how to express it. It’s just life being life. That’s a simplification but so right on.

 

For me this is 100% something that happens to me. I can go weeks where I feel very confident in my identity and then I’ll have weeks like this one where I start doubting everything. I definitely don’t think it’s abnormal.

 

Completely relate to this. Definitely feel like I’m always on a rollercoaster of feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Life is confusing and people are complex. I think you’re totally normal and self aware.

 

The changes in your sense od security can be a matter of brain chemistry on a given day. On a day with career or friend or family achievements feel secure about yourself? A day where everything goes wrong, so goes your feelings about yourself? Exercise. Surround yourself with things that please you. Work hard in your career. Your clarity (less confusion) will follow