Personally I think it's kind of terrifying. It seems like a big commitment, going out of your way to get tested all the time. Sort of makes me wonder why people have sex in the first place. I mean, aren't you constantly in a state of worry? How can you enjoy it with that on your mind? Further, how on Earth are you comfortable enough with your body to let others see it? I'd be almost embarrassed and uncomfortable. Although I know that there are people out there who do find me attractive, it's one heck of mystery to me. Even though I'm an adult, it feels wrong to think of myself as a possibly sexual being and I don't even know why I feel this way. There are people out there who are apparently hooking up without even kissing first. I mean, to me that seems unthinkable. How do you even initiate without kissing? I don't think I'm cut out for hook ups. For me, I have to establish a connection with someone before I even feel comfortable hugging them or brushing their shoulder. Which, may seem stupid but that's where my comfort level is at the moment. Physical touch is a big deal for me. It makes me feel vulnerable. However, when I do find someone that I can relax around, it's an amazing feeling. Just to hug them and not feel uncomfortable. Dating apps make me feel insecure sometimes. They seem to ask a million questions. Are you a top or a bottom? Vanilla? Switch? I don't know. Mate I haven't even had my first kiss, all I know is that I like women and I'd like to meet one and experience kissing. I feel like too much of a baby gay for such apps, but meeting someone organically is easier said than done. Frankly if I liked men I'd be absolutely killing it out there. Although I'd still have similar concerns about sex, so I guess I'd only be killing it to a certain extent.
Nothing wrong with hooking up but it is not for everyone. Meat market style can be very offputting. I would suggest finding your nearest lgbt meet up or group. Such groups and spaces give you the chance to actually meet people and start feeling the connections. Meeting people organically can be difficult, but not as difficult as it used to be. Since you are out, a flag pin can be helpful for identification purposes. Good luck.
I understand you very well. Touching and kissing is a real deal for me. I'm not really into sex as an act of penetration. I like emotional bond and sexual pleasure, sure, but only when I trust enough. There is even a label for this - Demisexual. Personality is important and it's hard/impossible to see that on dating app. Most people there just looking for fun.
I don’t think you are the only one to feel like that. I would never have been up for hookups and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I would also have similar concerns about sex with hookups. There are women out there that are not like that and are after the same things as you but finding them isn’t always a quick process. Obviously we can’t discuss specific apps on here but I would say that some are more known/designed for hookups than others. LGBTS groups are another really great suggestion assuming there are some near you. I think the best advice I can give is to try not to worry about the sex part for now. You never have to do that until you feel ready and for some people you can’t imagine being ready until you meet true right person and get to know them.
I think I might enjoy sex but I’m not going out of my way to experience it. I’m not comfortable with my body and I know I’m overweight. I have a degenerative muscle condition that I think would mean any sexual encounter wouldn’t last long and a stomach issue that rules my life. The idea of having to explain that to a sexual partner and make sure that we both are tested and have safe sex along with the fact that I don’t like touching people or being touched. My sister noticed I don’t like being hugged by extended family but they are clueless. Sex sounds like fun but I doubt I’ll ever experience it. I also could never consider just hooking up with someone. It’s too stressful. I’m going nowhere near an app, if there’s any age appropriate lesbians near me they either went to school with me or my sister or their brother was in one of my brothers many sports teams.
This is such a beautiful topic. I'm gonna put my answer into categories... First category is the intimacy. Craving it makes sex sooo important. Second category is trust. We often forget to build this, or we get hooked on the feeling of being in love, which is a real high! Third category is physical health. Here I would mention at first my muscles, kegel smart exercise etc. which can help to strengthen everything and make sexual feelings better and more strong! Fourth one, is being conscious of oneself and knowing what feels good with whom and why. I'm not saying this pro or con sex. Just that these categories are important to think about... Looking inward counts
