I'm out as a trans man for the most part and people either assume I'm a trans man or a masculine woman, but I'm actually nonbinary and have been experiencing frustration over the fact that I do not feel seen. The only issue is that many people don't even know that nonbinary people exist, let alone understand when you say that. In a way, I'm kinda wondering if coming out will be worth it for me and the worst case scenario plus how to deal with it. I'm visibly LGBT, so that's not my concern. Yet, I have changed my sex marker to male (and plan to keep it that way) and I prefer he/him pronouns anyway.
Nightdream.....Nice to have you back! Yes, a lot of people don't understand NB. It's doubtful that they will figure it out on their own. If it's really important to you...and it's perfectly fine if you feel that way...then you are probably going to have to explain it to them. I realize that can get tiring, but there's not many other choices. In the LGBTQ+ world we find that we often have to come out to people on a regular basis unless we make a big deal of it by the way we act and/or dress. It's the way the world is but at least many parts of the world today are far more accepting that they were in the past! .....David
Yeah, people have a hard time understanding being non-binary. This is part of the reason I stick to male pronouns. It makes life easier. To those that understand, I tell them that I am kind of in the middle but lean more masculine. To people that I know won't understand, I just still to saying I'm FTM. People tend to read me as a gay male since I am more feminine, and that is ok to me.
It depends on what you want to achieve with it. If you want people to use "they/them" pronouns, fill in paperwork that asks about your gender identity or are going on a date, saying you identify as non-binary may be relevant in my opinion. But in many situations gender isn't related and pronouns aren't used at all. It's something you need to figure out. What is the pros and what is the cons? The easiest explanation on what non-binary is talking about anatomy. You can say that trans men feels more comfortable in a male body, trans women more comfortable in a female body and non-binary doesn't feel comfortable in either a male or female body. Often non-binary wants to have a gender neutral body, have a 3rd option if it existed or being able to switch between a male or female body on a daily basis. Trans is about being uncomfortable in the biological sex someone is born as and wanting a different anatomy. It's a relatively easy concept to understand even for people unfamiliar with transgenders. People are familiar with people changing their bodies in other ways like cosmetic surgeries, tattoos and piercings. My explanation have worked for many people who finds the "non-binary" concept foreign. Even conservatives understood what I meant.
To be fair, the information about what non-binary is about is difficult to find and not every explanation given are clear or easily understandable. When I'm googling "non-binary", such confusing definitions comes up like: "Denoting, having, or relating to a gender identity that does not conform to traditional binary beliefs about gender, which indicate that all individuals are exclusively either male or female". "Non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are not solely male or female (identities outside the gender binary)". "Non-binary : relating to or being a person who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that is neither entirely male nor entirely female". The definitions doesn't explain what gender identity means. To be able to understand what non-binary is, you need to know what gender identity is. It's basically which type of gendered anatomy you feels the most comfortable in and which kinds of anatomy that gives you gender dysphoria. People who identify as "man" wants a male anatomy and people who identify as "woman" wants a female anatomy. People who doesn't identify as either a man or a woman wants either 1) gender neutral anatomy 2) a combination of a male and female body 3) being able to switch between male and female anatomy on a daily basis 4) having a 3rd option. I think a good definition on non-binary would be: "When a person doesn't feel comfortable having either a male or female anatomy/body".
