I wonder if I'm not on the asexual spectrum. I'm not really sure if I'm bi or gay, but right now I think I may be gay because I have never feel attraction for a man, and I have never found a man handsome and I have definitely found a ot of women attractive. However, the idea of vagina and sex with vagina makes me feel umcomfortable. It kind of disgust me honnestly. But I am arroused by some women, and the idea of sex implying breast is appealing to me so I can't be 100% asexual. So I'm maybe just somewhere on the spectrum ? I don't know.
It sounds more like you're still working through internalized homophobia. Back before I came out (and even for a time afterwards), the idea of intimacy with another woman made me uncomfortable, too. I used to be "grossed out" by vaginas and the naked female form any time I considered my attraction, but eventually I realized it was just shame and disgust with myself I was experiencing; that the idea of me personally doing anything with a woman didn't sit right not because I wasn't attracted, but because I felt badly about myself. So in sum, I don't think you're asexual, given what you've told us here and in your other threads: I think you just need time to work through your own feelings of self-worth and guilt/shame regarding your attraction to women. You will get there, I promise: you just need to be patient and compassionate towards yourself, because the people it's hardest to be honest with are ourselves.
I completely agree with this. I definitely experience this as well. It’s terrible but I hope eventually I’ll get past it.
