Helloooooo! This is something that I think about often, so I would kinda like your input. As a society we've deemed using terms such as gay and retarded as insults to be hurtful and unacceptable. I would agree with this, as these are things that one cannot help. But for me that raises the question as to why things like stupid and ugly are accepted as insults. Can somebody help being stupid or ugly? IDK, maybe I'm just over thinking this. What do you think?
I'd like to think that stupid and ugly are still insults, but gay and retarded is considered a "worse" insult? Probably because gay and retarded are for particular groups of people, while stupid and ugly can apply to people across all populations, haha
I prefer not to use groups of people ("hah, girl" (I view this as quite sexist), "hah, gay" (I view this as homophobic) etc.) as insults. This is pretty much because that implies that being a member of that group is necessarily bad, which isn't always true. On the other hand, I use words such as "cunt" and "bastard" as friendly terms.
"Stupid" can apply to an idea rather than a person's being, so is useful for criticism. But saying something is "gay" to mean something other than literally same sex love is applying a negative connotation to that entire group who does not deserve it. It's an ad hominem (ad homo-nem?) attack that is not constructive. "Ugly" also has an objectively bad meaning and doesn't have to apply to somebody's looks. Kicking a dog is an ugly act, and you won't find sensible people who disagree.
I think (maybe) the answer you're looking for is that "stupid" and "ugly" are not well-defined terms. They are entirely in the eye of the beholder. So basically, if I say you're stupid, that means *I* find you stupid...if I say you're ugly, it means *I* find you ugly. These are therefore not truly statements about you, but statements about *me*, and *my* low opinion of you. On the other hand, calling someone "gay"? As I see it, when you use "gay" as an insult, you are doing one of two things. You are either: (1) not talking about homosexuality at all, but using "gay" as a stand-in word for "stupid, lame, or otherwise inferior"; or (2) implying they are actually gay (as an insult). If (1) is the case, then it's homophobic, because you are implying that being gay *is* stupid, lame, or otherwise inferior. If (2) is the case, then it's homophobic, because you're still implying that homosexuality is somehow inferior, or an accusation that is worthy of being insulted by. The exact same arguments apply to "retarded".
Outside of inside jokes, not many people like to be insulted. And even then, it's a case by case basis.
It's hard to say because there's always two sides where one side finds the insults funny and will not be offended when called said insult and then there's the other side who don't find it funny and get offended whenever they're called said insult. What I think should happen is that people should be allowed to say insulting things to one another, but only if the other is alright with it. There's always that one person in any comment section who will be like " It's just a joke, don't take it so hard" or " Aw, special snowflake is hurt" - Don't. If someone is just not okay with it, then they're not okay with it. For example, there's this trending meme of Demi Lovato called "Poot" and Demi has made it fairly clear that she doesn't appreciate it and people are telling her to get over it, that it's just a joke and will continue to justify and spread this meme like wild fire because THEY think that it's funny. That is the opposite of what should happen. If she enjoyed the meme, that would be a different story but she doesn't and it should stop..and that's my point. When people don't find it funny, just stop. Don't justify your actions. You're not the one who gets to decide how others feel on a specific topic.
insults aren't really meant to be kind, haha~ but I think there are definitely varying degrees and some that have moved into "slur" territory (the n word, the r word referring to people with mental disabilities, the f word referring to gay people, etc). Slurs, I think, are never acceptable... Stupid and ugly and such are still hurtful words, and not to be taken lightly, but there will always be people who only feel good about themselves when they're cutting others down... (Also, some people love a good insult~ one of my friends called me a new insult every time he saw me, haha~ I think my favorite was cum-guzzling gutter whore, because it was quite the tongue teaser, haha~ but, that was the friendship we had, and when other people saw this they were quite shocked, the same way some are when friends call each other b*tch, or c*nt or whatnot~)
I call things gay occasionally - it's a force of habit at this stage. I don't use the word 'retarded' - it's just not something that has ever been part of my vocabulary, and sounds like the type of insult a 12 year old would use. I guess gay is a juvenile insult too, but I only ever use it in jest anyway. If I want to insult someone maliciously, I'll call them a cunt - people really don't like it. If you look at it from biAnnika's point of view, calling someone stupid to imply that they're inferior might not be politically correct either - are some people naturally more intelligent than others, and if someone is genuinely lacking in intelligence, is it right to mock them for that? Someone might be stupid, but that doesn't make them lesser - there is more to an individual than their intelligence. Just a thought.
I think it depends on the age of the person to what gender I use, not as an insult but so I'm not calling a 5 year old a man/woman [because otherwise they might think they have more authority than they do]. boy/girl - 12 and under male/female - 13-17 man/woman - 18+ [or when regarded as 'adult' in your country] I haven't figured it out for agender yet, so if anybody has an idea. I think anything has the ability to be offensive, if people make it so. A question I developed from Fahrenheit 451 [R. Bradbury] His [adlibbed] - ''Is it better for there to be no books and people not get offended, or for books and people thinking?'' Mine - ''Would you rather have nobody talk and nobody get offended, or people talk and make change happen?'' ---------- Post added 4th Nov 2015 at 09:38 AM ---------- Gay can also mean ''happy and full of life'' so if you say ''that person is gay'' then you could be saying ''that person is happy and full of life'' [but shortening it to one word]. I don't think using ''gay'' in this definition is offensive, nor is someone saying; Person 1 - ''I like this man, do you know what his sexuality is before I ask him out?'' Person 2 - ''Yes, he's gay'' Person 1 - ''Okay.''
I believe it depends on who you're talking to... I can call my husband really bad words without hurting him in a joking manner... Don't think my boss would feel the same way... ;-)
The way I say something if it could be offensive; ''I'm sorry if this is offensive but this is my opinion .... and here is my justification for thinking it .... feel free to argue but know I won't change my opinion 'just because' ''. It doesn't tend to be singular words I say though, as singular words to me are pointless with no structure or meaning so are really just there to classify someone and make it seem that's all they are.
There is a huge difference between using the word "gay" and using the word "gay" as an insult. The OP is talking about insults. ---------- Post added 4th Nov 2015 at 06:45 PM ---------- Let's be clear on what Annika's point of view is here. My point of view is that "stupid" is *not* politically incorrect and insulting to stupid people everywhere, because there is no fixed definition of "stupid" and hence no "stupid people everywhere" to insult. It's a stupid word that means only "inferior"...in intelligence or in some other context/way.
All insults are acceptable. It's insane to be afraid of an insult. Just like our moms said, words can't hurt ya. Anyone who's offended by words, well that's probably because their parents were unfit to raise children.
That's kinda what I was thinking. Based on a lot of these other responses I feel like I might have some pretty awful communication skills.
No you're fine, you just communicated how that makes you feel with accuracy. Anyways, if you're insulting someone, and you stop to think about whether the insult is 'acceptable' before you insult them, doesn't that kind of defeat the point of insulting them