Well i have a mostly transphobic family. My dad and step mothers both sides lf the family are allhomophobic and transphobic. My mom'a side of the family is mostly homophobic and transphobic. We only have 2 people on this side that arw lgbt. And 1 of them which is my brother isnt out to anyone except for me. My mom is transphobic she always laughs and makes jokes about transgender peopl, my aunts and some of my cousins are too. I'm AFAB and i've known i was trans since a very young child. My mom told me as young child if i ever told her i wanted to be a boy she would disown me. I don't know if that was a joke but i never really brought the topic up since. I can't keep faking this life though. However, i am extremely dependent on my mom as she pays for everything for me and i am in my early 20s. I also don't really have friends. My best friend ive known for years im thinking of cutting her off because she is toxic in some ways and also homophobic, extremely religious etc. I just cant inagine how everyone's reactions would be to me transitioning i know i'd be talked about negatively and might not have anyone truly there for me. It will be years maybe 5 until I can move out on my own. What do I do?
Hello, OP. I'm sorry to hear your family isn't very supportive. I think a good rule of thumb is: if it's not safe for you to come out, if you are at any risk of being abused, kicked out, etc. it's better to wait. I know it's difficult and unfair; sadly, there's plenty of that going around, and it's particularly awful when it's your own parents doing it. But I think, if you come up with a plan, a safety net of sorts (look into support groups, such as PFlag, research safe houses, shelters and such) that will help you set things in motion so that if/when you're ready to come out to family and friends (however unaccepting they may be), you'll have somewhere safe to go if things go as badly as you fear. Another option, if possible, is saving up money so that when the time is right, you can move into a place of your own. That's been made difficult of late, as rent prices have skyrocketed, but it's entirely possible you'll find something in your area. This is, of course, dependent upon you having your own income, so if you don't have that (as it sounds), it might be time to look into available jobs in your area.
Hello and a very big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! The most important factors in deciding when to come out are: *****Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you. *****Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important. *****I think that you are in that group where it's just not safe for you to come out right now. I know how very hard waiting can be, but sometimes it's the only safe thing you can do. In the meantime you can save up money to help when you do come out. You can try to make friends who will support you when the time comes. Start now preparing for the time to come. However, be especially careful to keep all of your preparations secret. If your family should find out that you are preparing to come out and to leave it would not be a good thing! Please stay in touch with us and don't be afraid to ask any questions that you may have! We will do our best to help in any way that we can. .....David
