A breath of fresh air

It has been really nice finding this group and reading the stories of other gay men, cross dressers and those who identify as transgender, I love you all.

My story is quite similar to some of you, I’m married of twenty years, have children and came out to my wife about two years ago. It was very difficult to reveal my sexuality and my preferred identity as a gay guy. But I did it.

When I was young I was attracted to other boys, this left me with the feeling of isolation and because of pier pressure I had the need to show how manly I was, how I could pick up girls and be the lad! It was, and has been very tough, I was also a cross dresser, my desire to be feminine and be like the girls sent me into severe depression and my coping mechanism was to hide in drink and drugs! I went with a guy but this just made matters worse. My immediate family were quite out spoken about their dislike of gays, and hatred for queers who dress as women (as they spelt it out so many times). It was only after I married was I able to reveal my cross dressing desires and needs. I wife, thankfully understood and helped, I could cross dress in private. I never told her my gay feelings for other guys. Yes I do feel like I have been living a lie, pretending to be straight and all along knowing I’m homosexual. That is something I must live with and I do feel bad at my pretence of being straight. I was brought up in a different era, one was disowned by family in those days. I still cross dress, with the approval and support of my wife. I do love the feeling of being feminine. When I did come out as gay my wife wasn’t overly surprised. When I came out I had the feeling that a burden and the feeling of suffocation had been lifted. I really did feel like I could breathe, my wife has been happy to chat about guys, discussing men, what type of men I liked, saying I would enjoy sex with a guy, telling me it’s fantastic. When out shopping or dining she would ask if a certain guy has caught my eye, commenting that she likes my choice in men. Guys she would also be attracted to. I’m not out to everyone, so before l do seek out the company of other men maybe I would like come out to family and close friends, I am a little scared and nervous.

I’m looking forward to chatting and spending more time here, I really looking forward to chatting with like minded people.

Thanks for listening.

 

Thank you so much David for such a warm and happy welcome, I agree my wife is fantastic, so supportive, she listens and then is one with me. It was hard, the feeling of ‘am I going to loose her?’ I know I’ll hurt her, and I didn’t want that. To be honest it has taken a while, the healing process for her took some time, and I let her have her time and space. I didn’t, and still haven’t yet meet up with other men, I wanted her to be comfortable with my being gay before I started seeing men. She may in time find another man to take as a lover, and that would be fantastic, until such times I’m here for her. Now if I crossed paths with a nice guy tomorrow I know she would be happy for me and encourage the relationship.
I’ve only just joined this group and in that short time my confidence has grown and I’m feeling happier about being gay. Just talking to other men like yourself has shown me that I was right in my decision to come out and my feelings for men are valid, a part of me and sexually this is who I am. I like men. Because I have, at times doubted my decision, tried to convince myself I was straight hehe, again! But not now, I’m out and slowly, with help and support for other guys I’ll come out to close friends and family and show how proud I am to be gay.

Kisses and cuddle