I don't have long left

That’s great!

And frankly, I would tell your housemate to shut up if she can’t be supportive. This is no different than having a broken leg. If it isn’t treated it can’t heal properly. You‘re doing the exact right thing.

You’ve got this.

 

1. I would cry if you died, a lot. You're so sweet, you're cool, you're smart, and while things may suck you have perservered this long through terrible things. I would miss you, and I'm sorry I haven't responded- I'm in a bit of a similar place mentally.

2. You aren't attention seeking- you are the opposite of that from my interactions with you. This is what you need to do when you feel this way! We want you to live! Remember that!

3. Tell your therapist everything- yes, everything. That's the only way therapy actually works! My therapist worries about me because of all the crap I've told her, and has said it to me directly. I'm fixing to have to tell her things I almost did next session, but maybe she can help me fix what's going on or at least decipher it enough to figure out a plan.

Just hang in there ok, lottaotter?

 

That's awesome news!! I'm so happy, I hope this medication goes well for you.

Good job calling them and discarding what your "friend" has said

 

I'd ask her, "Why do you say that? It sounds very negative and discouraging to me. I really need your support."

Great job calling for the medical care and I hope it all helps one way or another. At least you did it and made a choice to try something in addition to all the other work you've been doing. Making choices can be powerful for self determination, but it takes a certain amount of will and energy that I know can be hard to find, feeling impossible and pointless at the low times. I see that you are strong to keep trying. Also we all need a break too so take time for for yourself when you can and I hope you get lots of deep sleep. I hope your friends and family will be there for you more too if you can share the letter or somehow say what's up. I'm pulling for you!

 

This is good news, Lottaotter. And again your flatmate is wrong - depending on the antidepressant you can feel an effect within days.

Keep checking in with us. You have so many supporters here, all willing you to keep on, reaching towards the light.

Hugs, Beth xx

 

Hey lottaotter. First I just want to say I am glad you a feeling a bit better. Second the main reason I wanted to post was to let you know that even though some people don’t understand what it’s like to deal with depression and/or trama from past experiences but every once in awhile you get lucky and find people who get it. I’m not going to say I can completely relate to everything you have gone through. However I can say I know what’s it’s like to deal with sever depression. For me when it is really bad I just feel like I’m dieing inside and no one seems to notice. It’s hard to talk, you just want something else to distract you from the pain you are in, even if it is pain you inflict yourself. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, and I’m not saying it is easy not to do it, because it really is not. I use to hurt myself all the time just so I could feel something other than what I was feeling or yo distract my mind from the abusive relationships I lived through. Now I am better, the feeling comes and I fight it the best I can. For me my kids are what I keep fighting for. There was one night this past year that I wanted to end it all (this wasn’t the first time). I ended up having to sit with one of my kids in their room that night to get through it. I’m not leaving this to complain or make you or anyone else feel bad for me. I’m doing it to let you know that I can relate. For me it really helps to talk to someone who actually knows what it’s like. I will say that I am impressed with everything you have been able to do even though you rather do nothing. That is more than I can say for myself. You should be proud. I hope you end up getting the things you want. You deserve it. I’m on my phone doing this and have kids running around so if it doesn’t make sense, that is most likely why.

 

Antidepressants usually need to be taken for 1 or 2 weeks (without missing a dose) before the benefit starts to be felt. It's important not to stop taking them if you get some mild side effects early on, as these effects usually wear off quickly.

https://www.nhs.uk › mental-health

 

Usually got told it even took 3 weeks.

Thing with antidepressants, and at this point I assume it wouldn't be a waste to try regardless, is that everyone is not built the same.
Some people will do wonders with some molecules and others are gonna be miserable.
So your doc gives you a type of AntiDepressants, you try it, you see if you can stand it and if it helps. If you can't stand it or if it doesn't help, you go to your doc and you ask for something else. Rince and repeat until you find a molecule that works with you.

Also, in case you try a molecule that makes you feel bad, have some backup plans to prevent you from doing something crazy.

It's not really glamorous but at this point, it's worth a try. You can get better, the sooner the better, but it's gonna happen at some point.

 

That’s amazing!
You’ve got this.
*dancing banana*

 

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better, and that the medication has already started to have such a positive effect on you. I think creating a kit like that is a great idea for those "rainy days". You're doing amazing already--just keep taking one day at a time, do whatever you can to find enjoyment in things, however small, and you'll be okay. <3

 

Aww I forgot about dancing banana, that certainly is appropriate!