Useful questions a young trans person could ask themselves?

Hi!

I was curious if there were any questions you would recommend a young trans person should ask themselves before going on the path of medically transitioning.

I'm just trying to figure myself out and could really use some help.

Cheers!

 

I feel a constant yearning for every change testosterone offers. From voice and facial hair, to less visible changes, like body hair, bottom growth, changed skin texture. I think the two things I wouldn't be too thrilled for would be my body odor changing and the (slim) possibility of going bald. But I could live with them, if it meant I got everything else. I wouldn't say I always wanted every single change since starting questioning a few years ago, but as I did more research and played with the idea more, everything feels like it'd be worth it. And the yearning has only gotten stronger over the years.

Theo

 

1. It's been a continuous journey for the past few years. I discovered what beinf trans meant at 15, and started seriously questioning at 17. I am 20 now. I'm currently in therapy and trying to figure out if it's a passing whim or not. I went in asking 'did I brainwash myself into believing this?'

2. I pushed for men's clothing since I hit puberty because I never felt comfortable in women's. I cut my hair at 16, got my first binder at 18, and have been out as a guy to my closest friends for about 2 years, I think. Have tried packing with diy packers, and just ordered an STP to further explore my gender without any permanent changes. I've been going to the gym in an attempt to masculinize my body, too.

3. I have weird feelings about my body, mostly indifference and detachment. On my worst days, I feel hyper aware of myself and can't be outside without feeling incredibly anxious because I know everyone sees me as a girl. I currently see myself as a prepubescent boy with female parts forcefully attached to his body. I genuinely don't feel like I've hit puberty yet, even though I technically have, just not the right one. I can't see my future self as a woman, just a man.

Honestly I would rather not transition in order to avoid being shunned. Transitioning would be 100% for me. I wish for people to look at me and think Man.

 

I could, but it would mean continuing to feel like a ghost inhabiting some random body. I would always feel invisible and detached from everything going on. Which is manageable now, but I'm not sure how manageable it will be after I will have lived 30-40 years like that. I don't think I could ever fulfill some of my aspirations as a woman though, for example I could never raise a family as a woman, I could never be a mother, even in a lesbian relationship. I think I'd end up resenting that role with time. And resenting my entire life, even if it would take some time to reach that point.

 

Ju

Just wanted to add (because I have no clue how to edit responses lol): I think I'd end up feeling humiliated if I were to achieve everything I wish to achieve (career wise and family wise). I can't stand the idea of making a name of myself as a woman.