This is my experience. It is different from the experiences of some of the people who've posted here. I am considered kind and gentle by the people who know me. Partly because of this, I have many friends. I am also bisexual (although the category doesn't really capture who I am). I have never had any problems with men finding me attractive and wanting to get together with me. But I found that few of the straight or bi women I asked out were interested in me in "that way." At a certain point, I spoke with fifteen or so straight women friends and asked them about what attracted them to men. These were all strong, confident women who hated sexism and misogyny Almost all told me essentially the same thing: sexually, I like kinda aggressive men who I wouldn't otherwise become friends with. This disheartened me, but I knew that it didn't describe all straight women. Eventually, the person I fell in love with was a straight woman who loved me for my kindness and gentleness. We've been happily married for some years.
I am with my boyfriend because he is sweet, kind and caring, not aggressive at all. He is the opposite of a toxic male.
I never understood this issue of nice guys seeming "weird" to others or bad boys making everyone want to befriend them. A nice guy is just a guy who is trying to be nice to people; I can see how it creates a lot of confusion when people ignore them when they just try to do the right thing. A lot of things in society like this confuse me very much. To answer the question; No, a nice guy is a nice guy and probably a reasonable and open-minded person, while a bad boy is probably a rude, loud mouth jerk with distasteful views so... Yeah I'd take the nice guy and ignore the bad boy.
There is a difference if what you mean by "bad" is people who flout convention, who speak out about injustice, and who are true to their best, most creative selves.
Bad people = morally bad. Imo, you don't have to be bad in order to be not nice. Nice is someone who appears to be harmless and you're confident you can do whatever you want to him and see not much reaction.
Appearances can be deceptive though, which is something to keep in mind. My ex is probably considered a “nice guy” by most people and he is nice to most people, but what goes on behind closed doors can be very different. As to not seeing much reaction, I assume that you mean he wouldn’t react disproportionately to anything reasonable rather than not reacting at all to anything you did? The latter would be unhealthy and concerning.
Yeah, that's something to keep in mid too. I meant if you do something bad to him, you know there will be not much consequences for you. If you hit him, he won't hit you back or anything close to that. This leads people to abuse him, etc.
If “nice” means that he would tolerate inappropriate behaviours in a relationship, such as physical abuse, then yes, it would put him at risk and the relationship wouldn’t be healthy on either side. Though tolerating such behaviour would probably be due to low self esteem and other issues, rather than being “nice”. Seems to depend a lot on how “nice” (and “bad”) are defined.
This is one of those thread where words such as “nice” and “bad” are defined subjectively, a bit differently by us all. Not many people are attracted to the sort of “nice” who are helpless and lack confidence. (I assume!)
Also a bit of a stretch, as nice doesn't mean they are a push over who won't defend themselves. As some of the nicest people I know look like people who you would not want to upset in any way for fear of losing an appendage, and in most cases they all could easily do so. While the rudest and most disrespectful people I know look like good upstanding folk who never say a bad thing about anyone. And at the same time none of them are "bad". You can be nice and evil. Hannibal Lector wasn't rude or "bad" just someone who would murder and eat people as an example. The trope is not that the bad boys are law breaking thugs, though they can be, but generally are people who give authority the finger and don't care about what society thinks of them and what they do.
After all, "nice" is a bit vague and can have multiple (still maybe similar) definitions. But I get your points I think. Good ones. Thanks.
I agree with your concept, especially if you're talking about hookups. I may not agree with how you word bad or nice. Bad isn't necessarily bad in the way most people think about it. To me, it would mean hot enough to be on some A-list and to really not care because people are beating down a path to hang around with him. So, maybe prone to being insensitive. The nice guys usually do look wholesome and you would probably be able to strike up a conversation with them. They might even really be wholesome, as in good, but you might then find out that they're whiny or annoying long-term. I will validate your post and disagree with the others who think it's fiction or a trope. The gay scene is shallow AND guys who have the air of a bad boy, and can realistically afford to have it, do get more attention from what I've seen. They tend to dump people left and right or cheat and others will not want to put up with them and their egos after they get over the initial high. I'll put up this photo I've seen before. This might not be a bad boy as in bad, but knows he can be picky because he'll get noticed by the straightest of men - just for his looks - and by a ton of women. If they took some kind of readings on pulse or heads turning, he'd probably rank higher than someone who is traditionally handsome. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/78/64/53/786453c41631347eae1a11f3a3f0b3de.jpg For someone with hair on his head, then try this one https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6_cXIJPW...hYqyhQCLcBGAs/s1600/young-richard-gere-25.jpg
In my opinion, the whole bad boy aesthetic, while quite appealing to me, is something that has to be done tastefully. Being rude and unruly out of nowhere just reflects badly on them and makes them look dumb.