YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME. :] Why is that so hard to believe?

Honestly, no matter how much I tell my friends that they're beautiful, they don't believe it. To be fair, I don't when they tell me the same thing :roflmao: so I don't know.

 

That is my exaxct situation wuth my girlfriend minus the hair and boyishness. If I could find a way to make her accept compliments I'll tell you.

 

I'm not sure there is a way to make her believe your compliments. It all has to with her own self-esteem and how she sees herself. While she may believe your compiments a little bit, her own self-image is what she really thinks is true. I can kinda relate to your girlfriend, as I'm the same way. Whenever someone compliments me, like 75% of me doesn't believe it.

 

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6GOwn9bd-U&list=HL1324334404&feature=mh_lolz[/YOUTUBE]

This song pretty much sums up everything about everyone.

I'm in the same position with a lot of my friends, and even myself at times. We all have problems, we all look in the mirror and see the bad things, the things that stick out, the things that don't fit in with society. Is it any wonder that people don't understand how beautiful they really are, when our society's view on beauty has become so twisted and skewed?

All I can think to tell you is to just keep telling her she's beautiful. She may not believe you at first, or even ever, but deep down, she knows that you think so, and it makes a difference to her. And that's all we can hope for.

 

Taking compliments are hard for many people. What would be like for you to tell her how you feel when she does not believe her...Stay with what it feels like to you?

 

It's hard to believe I'm beautiful because nobody's been willing to take me to the bedroom and prove it.

 

You have to be taken into the bedroom for your beauty to be proven? That sounds more like someone calling you sexy. "Sexy" and "beautiful" are two completely different things. I've seen several guys who I would call beautiful, but I wouldn't take them into a bedroom.

 

It's a common issue in the LGBT community, though. Since most of us are alienated from love, we never really feel "wanted", and as a result our self esteem falls like crazy. Sad but true fact. It also leads a lot of us to believe sex is "true love". Either way they meant it, we all are affected by it at an alarming level.

 

Tell her "I love you beautful"

 

Yeh...the alienation is definitely harsh on the self-esteem. Sex is something that is easily and widely available to the majority, but it isn't the same for most of us and especially closet cases not unlike I am. After a while, every part of your body comes under a microscope and questions that often starts with "Why" generally plays like a broken record in your head. It doesn't take much longer after that to become sensitive to everything no matter how little. Insecurity stings!!!

 

well, try being in her shoes for a second. it's easy to tell somebody something but if they don't feel that they're beautiful, cute, adorable or whatever. there's nothing you can do. she doesn't think she's hot and maybe that's because not much people tell her so or people never really paid her attention at all. it's kind of sucks but then again, she can't be that ugly or bad looking if she has a girlfriend but that's just what i think though.

it's something she has to work on for herself. she should get herself involved in something that will make her feel good about herself.

 

Not everyone responds to verbal praise...I don't personally. Find out what clicks with her. Gifts? Personal time together? (My psychologist pointed me to a site regarding the Five Love Languages. It's straight stuff, but it still applies.) It also sounds like she has some self esteem problems. Give her time to like herself...or find out what her own personal demon is and help her attack and kill it. THEN she can really accept herself and love herself and start accepting unconditional love from others.

 

Because there seems to be two levels of "beautiful/attractive".

There's the superficial one. People who are "attractive" on this level are pleasing to many eyes. They might be models, or actors/actresses, or porn stars. They attract eyes when they walk into the room. They get on year-end lists from pop culture magazines.

Then there's the more complete version. Where you know everything about somebody, and find them very attractive on that level. Things that might negate them for the first category - being a bit skinny or overweight, having a bad hair day, blotchy skin, lousy fashion sense, you name it - doesn't negate them from THIS category. Their physical imperfections might make them ineligible as ideal model material, but those are just "part of the package" they come in for those who are attracted to them in a more holistic way.

When you tell somebody that they're "beautiful", they tend to default to the first category. They think you're saying they're as physically stunning as a supermodel, and they tend to scoff at that notion. They need to realize you're talking the full deal.

Lex

 

I have issue taking compliments, don't want to get into why, but it feels odd when your not comfortable with them

 

For me, it's that they're so infrequent that I either believe the person is insincere or genuinely mistaken.

 

I can understand where your girlfriend is, my girlfriend has the same problem to an extent and I think its important for you to try not to take it personally, she isnt trying to hurt you, and if she is the same as me then she does kind of believe you, but as other posters have said it all has to do with her self esteem and self image. Just keep telling her how beautiful she is etc and each time it will set in more and more, try not to be defense if she says she doesnt believe you or that she isnt just say well I think so.

 

thats acctually sooooooo true.

 

if i allow myself to believe that i am good/attractive, i may stop my progress to better myself for my partner

 

Have you considered asking her why she doesn't just accept the compliment? There might be a legitimate reason.

Case in point: unless I make an effort to look good, I never believe it when someone tells me I'm beautiful. It's because I was convinced through brain-washing and reverse psychology that I was absolutely hideous. What happened was that my dad and grandma lied to me about everything; I had come to accept this; then they told me how beautiful I was. And then they would make mean jokes about my appearance. So when someone tells me that I'm beautiful, I automatically think that they're just lying.

I doubt that's the case with her, but there could be something.