Younger brother is probably gay?

I know you want to talk to him about this because I know you're concerned, but it may be best not to confront him about it. It might make him extremely uncomfortable, and I'm sure that's the last thing you want. Let him come out to you (if he is gay, that is). And I know you're worried about him doing sexual things but he could've just been spending the night at a friends house like any other person would. Nothing sexual about it. Of course, if you feel that you must talk to him then go ahead and do it. I'm just giving you my opinion.
You're a good sister for caring so much, by the way.

 

I think you should respect his privacy a bit more, what he does with his friends, what kind of porn he looks at etc seriously is none of your business.
I also think your analysis of his childhood behaviours relies waaaay too heavily on stereotypes, seriously as a lesbian you should know better.
Sorry for being so negative, but the whole tone of your post just bothered me somehow.
Maybe it's cause I'm European, but I think he's at a pretty normal age to explore his sexuality - nothing wrong with it.
So yeah my advice is: stop being so invasive and wait till he feels like he's ready to come out, if at all.

 

That's a difficult question.

I guess the only thing you can really do, that doesn't involve outing him or downright confronting him, would be to tell him he can talk to you about anything and then have a talk about safe sex with him.

That's a pretty big hint there, plus you'll at least know he knows about safe sex.

 

I'll chip in a few about approaching him.

I don't think you should.

At such a young age, he may be experiencing some denial, and for you to confront him out of the blue, it may make him anxious, scared, guilty, confused, and upset. Assuming he's not straight, of course.

Ultimately, you'll have to judge yourself. Do you think he will handle it well? Do you think he would even appreciate it? If so, then you still have to be careful where you tread. I asked someone if they were gay about three times. Seriously, of course. They denied it or ignored me altogether, but when they actually came out to me, they told me they were really upset when I asked them that because they were still confused about it themselves. So wary of what you say and how you say it.

They came out to me after I came out to them. Honestly, I thought it made me more relaxed. So, if your brother does turn out gay, you should consider coming out to him as well. It's a comfort that he's not alone in the family.

 

I think you are worrying a bit too much, but I understand the feeling. There's a chance he could be gay, but it could also just mean he's bi-curious or even straight with some stereotypical tendancies.

I don't think childhood behaviors factor into sexuality. My brother was a very effeminate child who loved the color pink, playing with cooking sets, he was submissive and needed mommy next to him until he past his preteen years. But now? He's straight.

The porn could just mean he's curious. There's proof that porn doesn't indicate sexuality; some straight guys prefer male porn because It's 'taboo'. Or he could be discovering his attraction to guys so he got curious and looked something up.

It could ALSO mean that these traits are because he is gay. But if that's the case, try to respect his privacy and wait for him to come out for you

 

Didn't you go through a progression into rites of passage into lesbianism? He's doing the same. Your brother needs his space and respect. You should only interfere if there is something which can cause him harm, and not because you want to continue the first-born or more assertive child dynamics.

 

I would not outright ask him if he's gay, but I hope he knows about safe sex. You can bring that up on its own for just a minute, then let it go.

 

That's exactly what I meant, and the subject could even be broached in more general terms, as in "you know, there are some nasty viruses and bugs out there that teens need to know about," rather than couching it in a specific sexual preference so that it won't put him on the defensive. That's really all you should be discussing with him at this point. As for the rest, it's up to him.

 

First off, I wanna say I resort you greatly for caring so much about your little brother. But I also have to say, back off a little bit on the porn issue. If he's just now exploring his sexuality, he's going to be curious. That's not to say there aren't better ways to learn, but jut keep that in mind. Also, trust him to make good decisions and choices. I would talk to him and make sure he knows you love him, no matter what; he may be feeling scare to tell you.

---------- Post added 20th Jun 2014 at 07:56 AM ----------

And btw I mean to say respect not resort

 

I'd say if you want to talk to him you can try talking to him on related stuff/lgbt/homosexuality in general to make him feel comfortable to come out to you sometime. only if he ever comes out to you.. you can discuss your concerns very carefully without interfering too much in personal stuff.

 

I think you should leave him be. I'm 13 and I've "explored" quite a bit. I understand you're worried about wether or not he's having "safe sex" or not but he's 15, so I'm pretty sure he's aware of the consequences and outcomes.
Some people find themselves earlier then others, and you'd be very good moral support and a very good shoulder to lean on for him, but he's old enough to be making his own decisions about this if anything

and hey, just think
at least he cant get that boy pregnant

also, if your brother was holding his friends hand, then it could clear things up wether or not he's gay. holding hands isn't a very common action between straight guys

 

I sense there is more going on here than just him being gay or straight. I think there are other real concerns. It doesnt matter if a kid is straight or gay, I think your brother is too young to be running around like that. So I definitely see your concern. If I had a younger brother or sister that age I would be very concerned too. I think your right about opening up the topic about safe sex and also abstinence (waiting until he is older and more mature).