1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Yay, she's gay! (but I need some advice)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Santana, May 18, 2016.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Santana

    Santana
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2014
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Latvia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey, you!
    There's this girl from my work I'm friends with, however, I'd like for us to be more than just friends. She was freely talking about lesbian kind of stuff like "You're feeling sick? Sorry, no kissing today.", so I assumed she could be into girls and then she admitted that for a while she even thought she's bi, but that was just a phase. This built up my hopes, but she had a boyfriend, so I was gonna just keep my feelings to myself.
    Few weeks ago she broke up with her boyfriend, and today we got in to talking and she told me she was actually bi, just sort of hiding it, and she's been with girls before (so, way more experienced than me, since I've never actually been with a girl or even kissed one). After she also told she never tells that to anyone and that she felt pretty awkward. I was supporting, but... didn't tell I'm lesbian. I did, however, tell that I'd like to try something with a girl.
    Tomorrow she has studies and I have work. Before her admitting all of this we agreed that if she won't feel too tired after studies, she'll pick me up after work which ends at 10pm, so we'd be going to her place, drink some vine, talk about stuff and I'd sleep over.
    There's a good chance she'll come and if so, then there's the chance we'll get into talking about this again and maybe some action... if she likes me that way. I have no experience in this, so I'm asking for a little help here. Should I tell her about me? If we go further than words (which I'd be down for), what do I do?
     
    #1 Santana, May 18, 2016
  2. Jax12

    Jax12
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think revealing to her that you like girls wouldn't be a bad idea. From there, you could talk about more lesbian stuff haha. I wouldn't count on making a move or hoping for anything too exciting just because she ended her last relationship not too long ago. Start hanging out as friends first, then go from there.

    Then again, you won't really know her reaction or what she wants for that matter. Just talk, hang out, and some Netflix and chill (literally, not figuratively).
     
    #2 Jax12, May 18, 2016
  3. sempai

    sempai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2015
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Reveal to her your true self and she will like you.
     
    #3 sempai, May 18, 2016
  4. OutofZCloset

    OutofZCloset
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2016
    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    redlands
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes I would reveal yourself and depending upon how she responds why not try and make a move?
     
    #4 OutofZCloset, May 19, 2016
  5. Mariana

    Mariana
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2016
    Messages:
    168
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I agree, I think it's a good idea to tell her you like women. Since she's bi herself, there is very little risk that she would have a problem with it, and if you don't tell her she might just assume you're straight.

    If you do end up kissing/making out and you feel nervous about it, you can kind of let her take the lead. Don't do anything you don't want to, though!
    Also, I think Jax12 is right - you might not kiss or anything so if nothing happens, don't be too disappointed.
     
    #5 Mariana, May 19, 2016
  6. taken

    taken
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2015
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you would be safe in revealing yourself to her. I would be cautious as to how it comes off. You don't want her to think that you just want to hang out and hook up. You want her to know that you're interested in a friendship that may develop into something more in time. Take the night to hang out and get to know her and let her get to know you. If there's a spark and one of you does make a move, yay!! But like they said before, don't be disappointed if nothing happens. She may be a slow mover, and getting over her recent breakup. I would say just go with the flow. It sounds like conversation will lead into a good point for you to open up and come out to her. Then both of you can talk about things you like and don't like, past experiences (or lack there of). I like to slip in a movie and if you're sitting on the couch or something maybe prop her legs upon her lap... It all depends on how the night flows along. Don't try to force for anything to happen. Sounds like she's at least interested in getting to know you as a friend and she's already told you something that she hides from a lot of people. So I think you'll be good. Plus, a little wine in your system kinda takes the nerves off. Good luck!!
     
    #6 taken, May 19, 2016
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)