I thought we're finished. Yet, the other day she messaged me asking me if I'm coming over, because we always get together during weekends. So, I went to her place. When I came she hugged me so tight while silently crying. I did not ask her why she is crying, because I do not want to overanalyze everything, since she has been putting me in an ON and OFF situation for the past three months already, and I'm tired asking the same question to her. So I just did my part I wiped off her tears, since she's feeling a little sick I did take good care of her and asked her what I can do for her. I helped her with the chores. Then she's trying to be sweet with me again, we cuddled a lot, and then before I left the next morning something happened between us, again. And that left me with a lot of questions... I really don't know if she's been playing me around or what are her intentions. Honestly, I don't know what to think or feel, but I admit despite of all the lying and cheating, I still do love her. I'm afraid to ask her to clarify things with me again and again, because last time she made it clear that she want to end our relationship. But what shes' doing to me is really confusing me and making me insane. She knows exactly how I feel about her and how I wanted to work things out despite of all those things she puts me through. So I don't know, what the hell just happened? Badly needed ADVISES..... HELP please!!!
If you do choose to take someone back who is lying and cheating, it might be good to talk with them honestly about it. In order to be able to be together honestly there might have to be some changes in how you communicate. Some people do not do well in monogamous relationships, and if one of you wants something that the other can not accept the relationship will be doomed in the long term despite what feelings either of you have. Keep in mind that is just my opinion.
I'm with rainmustfall. Some folks are too addicted to immediate gratification to commit to a faithful relationship. It's not necessarily wrong (some might call it immature), but if that's who they are, the territory comes along with a lot of instability and consequences. If you have provided that stability to someone who chooses to consistently sacrifice your boundaries for their temporary comfort and avoidance of those consequences, I advise caution. You can love her, but your pain may not be her first priority. Remember, compassion instead of anger - and boundaries. BPC
This is a really difficult situation. You clearly love her and she knows that. I think unless you can accept that she has messed you around in the past and may do in the future you need to be careful. I would tell her that you want to give it another go but this is the final chance. Anymore cheating and you won't be able to trust her anymore and the relationship won't work. See what her reply is and then decide what you want to do. This is easy for me to say, however I let the people I love walk all over me so I completely get how hard this is for you. You commented on one of my threads so you know how I'm trying to let someone go in my life. However she doesn't want me so I guess I don't have the difficult decision you have to make. Whatever you decide good luck and make sure the decision makes you happy. X
Thank you ALL... Really appreciate it, a lot! Here's the thing, I know I WANT HER BACK and she knows it very well... But problem is SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS... When I am asking her, she is telling me "I Don't Know" and she is getting me more and more confused when we are together... We used to be SO MUCH IN LOVE, we've been together since August last year but the fire started to burn down JANUARY this year... And now, I don't know. Here's a short background of our story, we used to be friends but we both came out of a broken relationship when we got together. I was very clear to her that she was not my rebound, because I was A OK when our friendship develop romantically. Actually, she started to develop those feelings and had love me first before I myself started figuring it out that I'm falling in love with her. Oh and one more thing, her EX and my EX are TOGETHER, before we got involved with each other. If there are other questions you may have to get this thing pretty clear, please ask me so. Because I really need set of advises on how I would go on with this complications. Please help. Thanks in advance.
I'm sorry you're going through this...it really does hurt when someone you're with isn't clear on what they want, and all that they are doing is hurting you. You are looking for a clear statement that is going to make everything better in your mind...no one can do that for you sweetie, in the end it will come down to you to decide what your next step will be. You are the only one that can make the decision that I'm quite sure you know what that is. I wish you every bit of luck in finding solace with this situation...many hugs (*hug*)
Thanks a lot MiAngel, (and badly needed that hugs)... I certainly know what you meant, sometimes a number of opinions, suggestions, advise and insights really helps me a lot, it clear my mind. It's like knowing someone out there is listening to your pleas help ease lessening the burden. I know in fact that I would be better off without her, but a part or me always longs for her because she brings a certain kind of happiness I can't explain no matter how badly she had hurt me. I really do not know why I can't just simply say NO to her. I know at the end of the day I will keep crawling back to her if she asks me to. Maybe I'm still caught between my feelings and the harsh reality. I'm still lost, but coping somehow with all these uncertainties.
