Where can I learn more about HIV? How is it found in somebody? Couldn't you wear a condom to prevent the chance of spreading it? And I'm sure if I would, I would like to think yes, but it depends on the person.
I would. Of course I would be cautious, but I don't see why dating someone with HIV/Aids is such a bad thing. I know a lot about HIV and Aids as SA has extremely high numbers of HIV/Aids prevalence. I have a friend who is HIV positive. One of the kindest and funniest people I know, a really good guy. A while ago his boyfriend left him because of the HIV. It crushed him and I can see how much it hurts him when people treat him differently just because of his status.
Like others here said, it is kind of a paradox that one would date someone with an unknown HIV status as long as protection is used, but not someone HIV+ with protection... To be safe, you should assume everyone is HIV+ until they are tested, and I doubt most people go and get tested before they start dating. For me, I would have no problem dating someone HIV+... I would simply use contraception, and in the rare chance that I am infected, I would get treatment so it doesn't develop into AIDS... Really I don't see a big risk. I actually think the chance of getting HIV from a partner while using contraception is lower than the chance of dying from driving down the highway.
Somebody's HIV status wouldn't bother me in the slightest, dating or bedroom. Sure it may put you at some risk, but how do you know tomorrow you will not get hit by a truck? This is really tied into the whole 'anal-sex' illusion, the cultural view that it's vanilla gay sex.
I think the same. Or at least I would like to think like you. I'd probably be kinda freaked out at the beginning, but if you really like someone and you see potential there, why not. You never know if someone's HIV positive unless they tell you. You need to be safe even if your partner is HIV negative. As for jsmurf's response, I think it's normal, you always need to think about yourself first. And you don't really know how to respond when you meet someone like him for the first time. No one knows.
Hopefully there will be a final cure this decade for both HIV and AIDS. Of course it shouldn't be taken as a license to go out and be promiscuous or not cautious about protection. Thanks for validating that my response was not wholly bigoted.
Your initial response to him was normal and his initial reaction was normal too maybe if you talk more about your sides maybe you two still have chance to go out. Like this guy I met before, he is nice, and we had sex, but we used condom but we kiss each other, and after that he just told me that he is +, i wasn't freak out immediately but i was shOcked, but he explained to me that I am safe and nothing to worry about,after that, we are just talking rarely at phone and kinda scared to do it again. Am I still safe? Thanks guys!
One of my best friends is HIV+ and we have a good connection. If this were a few years ago before he got it I would seriously consider dating him. But since he got it I just...can't. I know we've seen Michael on Queer as Folk date Ben (though I mean it is a tv show but still) it's just such a hard thing. They can be the nicest person in the world but that doesn't mean I'm going to date you. I realize that this could cause problems as I believe in soul mates and what if it turns out mine is positive, but I just couldn't get past it. I'm safe when I have sex but there's too many factors: what if the condom rips, what if it slips off (it has happened to me when I was bottoming, luckily we caught it long before the guy ever finished), I have to wear a dental dam, seriously? (yes I know I should anyway cause of STIs but come on, how many of you actually can say you wear a dental dam all the time if at all), the list goes on and on. So while I'm sure they are great people, many of them, I will be friends with them but never boyfriends.
Honestly no I probably wouldn't unless I was in love with the woman. If I found out she was HIV positive before it's a serious relationship, I would most likely end it. I'd apologize but say that I don't feel comfortable dating. I feel bad saying this as well but I don't want to risk getting HIV (not sure how likely it is to pass between two women but still) and also I just don't know how I would deal with the information in a new relationship without feeling overwhelmed. I would want to be her friend if she is cool but I'd have to think about dating and idk.
Wow, so many people wouldn't? I would, I couldn't care less. If I really liked someone, I wouldn't care about such a small detail. So it means you're gonna have to play it safe, so what? You're always supposed to anyway. And even if something goes wrong (condom breaks, whatever), they always make sure hiv positive people with partners have very low viral levels, right? I don't know the exact numbers, but I do know the vast majority of partners of hiv positive people who play it safe stay negative themselves. I really wouldn't think about it twice and go for it. But hey that's just naive open-minded me. As for your reaction, yes you could've been a little less harsh, but then again at least you were honest and didn't give him any false hope. I do think, though, that your reaction comes from an irrational fear; not even kissing an hiv positive person is a bit exaggerated. Also, know that a lot of hiv positive guys won't disclose their status before kissing you (and IMO, they don't have to). I'm not trying to be hard on you here, obviously as you see a lot of people would've called it off, so it's not weird or wrong at all. Just wanted to give a different perspective. ---------- Post added 27th Jan 2013 at 06:53 AM ---------- 100% agree with this. Well, maybe 90% as I'm not so sure about the bottoming just for the sake of HIV part haha. ---------- Post added 27th Jan 2013 at 07:03 AM ---------- Actually, the risk of transmission through oral sex is pretty much nonexistent.
Yep, what SOULkitchen stated was my thoughts exactly. My expounded answer would be like this, What if I am dating a person. And I really love this person. Since we started the relationship, we have had no any sexual activity and just recently, my partner told me that he/she is HIV+ even before we have met each other. Of course with that revelation, I would feel a bit of distrust towards my partner but would I risk our relationship because of the disclosure of the secret? I loved the person even before I knew he/she is HIV+ . Why would his/her disease change anything that I feel towards him/her. I am looking for a perfect relationship not a perfect person free of any diseases. edit: But I would never have any sexual activities that could risk my health, though.
HIV+ does not decide what a person is like, they could be a perfectly wonderful person but they have HIV+. Who cares? I'd still date them, I'd stay by their side and help them no matter what. I wouldn't have sex with them but if it was real love there wouldn't have to be sex, we could just be with each other.
This may seem odd but until I watched Queer as Folk and saw Mike and Ben's relationship I never would have considered it. I have a pretty intense fear of HIV but I realized that if the person you fall in love with is everything you want in a long term relationship their HIV status isn't enough of a reason to not be with them. With proper protection the chance of getting infected is nearly impossible and while there can be added stresses to deal with when you love someone you have to be prepared to deal with the good and the bad. As long as my partner was upfront about it and I cared enough about them I would. And if worse comes to worse then with proper treatment people with HIV can still live a long and healthy life. Not to mention in our life time we likely see a cure or vaccine for HIV.
I'm not sure really. I prefer to get to know people first before I make judgment of any kind. So if I truly fell in love with the person then it wouldn't bother me soo much as long as we used precaution.
If I loved him, I would date him no matter what he has. at least if I will die, I will die with the person I love. personally that's just how I look at it. I don't think it would be such an issue. Plus I'm sure yall people heard of protected sex right?
