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Would you date someone who was a lot like you or a lot different than you?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Skaros, Sep 15, 2017.

  1. Skaros

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    I've talked to and even gone on a few dates with quite a few guys in the last several months (was not really committed to anyone, just really enjoy the social aspect of talking to new people). It really got me wondering on whether or not I want someone who's more like me or someone who's totally different.

    On one hand, you can enjoy all the things you like with someone you care about and connect with.
    On the other hand, you can have the opportunity to explore new interests and perhaps someone who can balance out your personality (which isn't always a bad thing).

    Quite frankly, I don't think I can handle someone who's as extra as I am :grin:
     
  2. Creativemind

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    I prefer a lot like me. Not to the point of being clones. But the more different they are, the more turned off I get since it leads to major incompatibility problems.
     
  3. Canterpiece

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    Likewise, I wouldn't want a clone, but I wouldn't want someone too different to me either, otherwise they might have a harder time dealing with me. As someone who prefers quiet music, more relaxed settings and milder foods, I'm well aware that to some I may come across as bland. I realise the importance of expanding on interests and my personality, yet I wouldn't want to have to sacrifice who I am either. Sometimes I worry that nobody will ever date me because of how particular I am, I worry that people will just get sick of me. Oh well. :/
     
    #3 Canterpiece, Sep 15, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017
  4. BadassFrost

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    I would also rather date someone who's like me I think, but I'm not so sure as I haven't dated anyone yet. Maybe some difference is good but not too much. I would love to enjoy my favorite activities (such as travelling, skiing, gaming, etc.) with my partner.
     
  5. Canterpiece

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    Same. Well, I pretended to date a guy as a cover, and I dated this girl for three days, but I've yet to even kiss someone so I don't think it really counts. :grin:
     
    #5 Canterpiece, Sep 15, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017
  6. Andrew99

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    I don't think I could handle dating someone just like me. I would definetly want someone who I have things in common with and can make a connection with but I would like them to have some different aspects about themselves.
     
  7. RainbowGreen

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    I wouldn't be able to date someone who was too different from me. My crush reminds me a lot of myself, actually. I find we could relate much better and we could enjoy so much more together. I wouldn't have to restrain myself from talking about certain topics because I know he wouldn't like them. I'm not saying he would have to be exactly like me, but the closer he is, the more attracted I get.
     
  8. Lin1

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    I used to think that dating someone like me would be quite boring and liked the idea of dating someone who would push me out of my comfort zone due to our differences but I just went on a date with a woman who is A LOT like me and now realize just how much I like it, how easily the conversation flow and how nice it is to see someone who has the exact same interests as me and who stand up for the same things. I think it create some kind of connection/bond that's harder to create with someone who is drastically different from you as dating someone with different interests mean that some topics one might enjoy may be of very little interest to the other and vice versa, making conversation maybe a bit more "forced" than with someone who happen to like the same things as you.

    Overall I now think I would go for people who are mostly like me, with their own taste and differences but who hold the same beliefs and same opinions as me on most topics. :slight_smile:
     
  9. PatrickUK

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    It's about striking a balance. For me, there are non-negotiable issues that must be agreed upon and I could never date or be with someone who has a different point of view on those issues. For example, we must be on the same page about relationship values and there are some moral and philosophical issues that I will not compromise on, for anyone. Beyond that, I am pretty open minded and value difference in relationships.

    If you have a lot in common with a date/partner you will spend more time together as you indulge in shared interests and that can be quite nice, but spending too much time together can place a certain amount of strain on a relationship and you may tire of each other eventually. Equally, spending too much time doing your own thing can cause strain in a relationship. A good balance is where you have enough in common, but retain the freedom to do your own thing and be your own person. That's what I would always look for.
     
  10. Flowey

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    Different in personality and interests, same in world view, and appreciate each other's sense of humor.
     
  11. Libertino

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    I should preface by saying I have never dated, but with that in mind, I do have a couple friends who are like me in some important ways, and all narcissism aside, I could see myself dating someone like that. Yes, I have my negative traits: I can be exceedingly stubborn, I am often quiet and aloof, and I am so averse to taking the initiative that being with someone else who faced the same difficulty might result in a stagnant relationship. That said, I would love to be with someone whom I could engage with on an intellectual level, who found my academic talk interesting rather than tedious...but for now, it's just a vague hope. A 26-year-old who has never dated can't afford to be so choosy.
     
  12. HighQualityLog

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    I'd like someone whom I could relate to a lot, so I would like a sense of similarity. With that being said, I'd like to have somebody whom I could learn a lot from too.