I know I'm attracted to men sexually, guys get me really going, but I sometimes *hope* that maybe I can be attracted to women as well. I don't know how to explain it, but I just connect more with women, in fact I can only really imagine growing old with one. Girls just seem to attract me in this way, and I would much rather be intimate with one in the sense that girls (tend to) be more sensual, while with guys you both have (more) testosterone and sex is way more fast. Maybe it has to do with me having a very strong connection with my mother; but I just yearn for that kind of connection with a female in a future relationship, I feel like this energy that girls have compliments me, and guys just don't do it for me in this way. This conflict in desires makes me worry that I'm a (fake) gay. I have had one (online) relationship, which was with a girl, and I REALLY REALLY liked her. We broke up on mutual terms, and I didn't really feel 'heartbreak' - I haven't had a proper, in real life relationship yet. I've never had a crush on anyone (well, maybe a little one on her.) Either way I have always seemed to want a girlfriend, maybe some of it is cultural, but I generally just feel this emotional connection I do not get with a guy. I also don't really relate with other gay guys or their subcultures but I do relate with straight culture. I'm scared I'm just going through a phase; that I'm attracted to guys because I want to be them, not with them. I don't feel the intense sexual attraction for girls that I do with guys, however I am now able to (didn't use to be) aroused by girls, and this may be because of 'erotic plasticity.' I seem to want to be attracted to girls so much, that when I am in this mindset, I can actually get aroused easily. When I used to not want so badly to be attracted to girls, I never felt attraction. So am I just forcing unnatural attraction on myself? I feel a bit hopeless and anxious; if erotic plasticity is enough for me to be attracted to a girl who I'm emotionally connected to, I will take it. This seems like just INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA, but for me, these conflicting feelings I am having seem to be much more than that... even before I wanted to be attracted to girls and when I didn't care and accepted myself, I didn't feel that romantic feeling for guys that much.
Hello "yayforthelgbt" And trust me my man, I know exactely how you feel. in my teenage years, I lived a wonderful love story with a girl that lasted 4 years, it truely broke my heart when it ended, and few others less important. But lately I've had only relationships with men, and let me tell you that they were less passionate. The men seem to rush and doesn't seem to care about anything besides physical instant love, even with sensual ones, it just doesn't feel as profound and deep as with a girl. And yet I'm still attracted to men. Some I can't resist to be honest. I don't ever picture my self living my old days with a man, that picture just doesn't make any sens to me, thought, I've fully embraced the part of me that craves for man sweet love, I feel it, so I accept it, I don't deny it or try to put it to silence, I am faithful, respectful and loving to whoever I date. What i'm trynna say is; don't over think this, be true to yourself, no matter how hard you try to process it, chances are, you'll still be attracted to guys, it's in you, don't feel bad about it, cause it ain't gonna stop you from living the best story with the girl of your dreams ! Wish you the best !
