Even though it's frustrating I really can't judge the women like the ones I described earlier just because I feel like their behavior is a product of some pain or fear they carry. Trust issues, fear of being a "dyke" or a "fence straddler" , maybe even deeper issues of past abuse. I strongly believe any pain or fear should be viewed as a chance for self improvement but I don't see that much in the LGBT dating world. Not that I'm saying straight dating is a bowl of cherries 100% of the time but I guess it sort of evens out because there are so many more of them.
I think the approach "do what you love and you're attractive" is valid... Another point might be thinking about what kind of partner and partnership one wants... and if its time for it or if you have the feeling you simply want to wait till you have evolved in another field... Another point may be just meeting people... there are lesbian sports clubs, for example, lesbian events, discussion forums, etc...
