Why is my friend always after a relationship?

I can really only comment that I've seen the same thing. I think some people just NEED to be in a relationship. My old friend has had 8 ex boyfriends. EIGHT! And she's only 21! I think she's only been single for about 2 months in the years that I've known her. And once she breaks up with one, she goes right back onto a dating site "looking for a relationship" and bam! she's back in one in a short time.

And I just sit there being single

 

This can't be good, but it's hard to put my finger on why...

Some people aren't good with solitude, so a relationship is like a drug, maybe? It fills a void that is avoided at all costs. The void is one's own self, sitting quietly in a room is anathema to these types...what if there's nothing there, right?

I am out of a 20-year marriage, and I am enjoying my solitude, I need the time to rediscover who I am, to take up the things I gave up too willingly while I was in that relationship. I guess that's what it is...losing yourself in someone else, and thus having an excuse to neglect your own needs...this can't be good.

 

I was like this, upon a time, believe it or not. One part stemmed from neediness, another from wanting to feel valued, which boils down to the same thing, really. Who did I run into? Girls who were exactly the same way: insecure, co-dependent, broken...

A relationship is NOT going to fix you, complete you, or make life perfect. If you're miserable on your own, you're going to be twice as much with someone else. Some people chase that initial "high", and break up once the honeymoon phase wears down.

You end up here, essentially: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLYMD6R6PvU

Normal? Maybe for him. Healthy? No way.

 

I know many people like that as well. Basically we grow up with this idea of life as being apart of a pair. For some people this is a necessity, they must fulfill this void otherwise they continue to think something is wrong with them.

Especially the LGBT community we already have so much hate bombarding us from several corners, that it's hard not to question if our lifestyle is right or not. But being in a relationship, that's normal, that's accepted; it takes away some of the other pain because we're doing one thing society somewhat agrees with.

In my opinion it comes down to identity, if we're not absolutely loving and accepting of ourselves, we'll look for others to reassure whatever doubts we have. Talk to your friend, ask him how he really feels about the state of the world and his role in it. The only way to understand anything about ourselves is to ask questions and listen.

 

I call those types of people "serial daters." On the opposite end of that spectrum are people who never plan on being in a serious relationship because they enjoy being single. Both types come with their own unique set of insecurities.

 

They see "Everyone else" in a relationship, so they themselves feel.. being in a relationship is "Normal"..

 

I know in the case of one of my friends that I used to be super close to, she was clingy and always needed someone constantly. And she was insecure to the point where if any girl even so much as was a friend to her boyfriend, she flipped out because she was afraid they'd leave her. I experienced this with her first hand, she flipped out on her boyfriends because they'd talk to me and she was afraid they'd go after me, when in reality, I had no interest in them past friendship. She'd pretty much bar them from going near me. And that's what cost our friendship, was the fact that she was so desperate for a guy in her life, that she kept pushing me out of her life. So I'm guessing it's because of a need to feel loved, wanted, and cherished. And because there's always this push of couples in the media, in our society. It's like being a part of a couple is seen as normal,common, and being single is seen as out of the ordinary.