Why is femininity in men so hated and disliked?

I'd like to apologize for my ignorance above. Learning by the day. You're all beautiful people who deserve to be accepted. I'm sorry.

 

Because people are close minded and heteronormative is the only way to be it seems.

 

I consider myself an equalist. Everyone, regardless of what your gender is, sexuality, religion, gender identity, I don't care, should be able to walk around equally on Earth. I think that it shouldn't matter what you are, it matters who you are.

 

What you describe is metrosexuality, which is indirectly linked to femininity. Of coirse if you live in a large city where majority regardless of gender and sex is trying to follow the fashion you often see feminine man and it's accepted, but then in less populated and more ghetto areas you will see the big difference. I can say that from my own experience as a guy who can be categorized as feminine rather than masculine. I live in a fairly large city and whenever I get into ghetto areas of the city I can often hear people negatively commenting on my looks by putting labels on me saying "gay", "queer", "pussy" and many other irrational labels just by the way I look. So the point is we are still being judged negatively by the society. Masculine looking man will barely hear anything bad about themselves regardless of location. That's the way it is now.

 

Lol, I could only see the first bit of the heading; I thought the topic was going to read, "why is femininity in men so attractive?" I guess I have nothing to say regarding the actual topic...guys who are effeminate or otherwise 'girly' increase my heart rate in the nicest possible way. I didn't know they were 'hated' at all, I naively assumed that most gay guys would appreciate a 'girly' kind of guy. (I can hear Yoda in my mind, saying "much to learn you still have".)

 

Breaking out of one's gender role tends to be frowned upon no matter what your gender is.
It's a collectivist way of thinking that lumps all men and women into groups while ignoring their interests, personalities, and talents.

 

Yeah, you are definitely right that in some sub-cultures, acceptance of change and new things in society goes slower than elsewhere.

 

Everyone has already answered it but, because of sexism and homophobia. Men are strong. If you act like a girl. Your weak because woman are weak......complete bullshit. I hate gender roles.

I actually find femininity attractive, at times. I like a mixture of both the most though.

 

I agree with the "Men are strong, women are weak" mindset that many men and women have.

I had a female in-law teaching their kids I was less of a man because I am fem. Taught the girls to call me girly and in general feel like they didn't have to respect me because of it. I had said something to one of them and they said "It doesn't matter because you're girly" and continued to explain to me why I basically don't matter because her mom said I was like a girl. It is very infuriating and humiliating.

 

I'm not opposed to men who act feminine, nor do I judge them.

This has nothing to do with gender-roles or sexism.

I'm attracted to men, I find masculinity attractive. I simply don't find femininity in men attractive.

 

So she's basically telling her kids (her daughters) that someone who is feminine doesn't deserve respect, and that what girls think doesn't matter ... that's just so wrong, on so many levels.

 

Yes, that is just disgusting xenophobia.

 

Wow. That's messed up. No wonder so many women put up with men who treat them like crap! Women are essentially teaching other women that they don't deserve respect!

 

Yes, she is teaching them that, even if it is unintended. She is only directing it at feminine men, but they are viewing femininity (at least in men) as bad.

I hope that they end up in great marriages where they know that their opinions and feelings matter just as much as their partners. Time will tell. I love them dearly and the thought of them being disrespected by a partner :tantrum:

I know there are a lot of comments about whether or not fem men are a turn on, and either opinion is okay with me, to each their own. If I don't turn someone on, I don't care. I just don't want to be treated like a lesser person in my day to day life just because I'm not as masculine as society thinks I should be. There is enough of that just from being gay.

 

I cannot agree more. I mean i am absolutely as feminine as can be! And I've been ridiculed constantly because of it! I feel that people have acceptance for liberal views, but only till a certain point. i.e Femininity in Men.

 

The word masculine is derived from the word male. The word feminine is derived from the word female. You're going to obviously have the distinction between "men should be masculine, women should be feminine". That's simply how the words were made. In science, males and females often show different qualities with personality. Many animals have these different qualities. Sometimes women are seen as more dominant in certain species. However, we as humans don't have to kill eachother for food, we don't have to seek out and kill animals to eat. We shouldn't base superiority off of gender.

Now, the issue with feminine and masculine is that people label certain things as feminine or masculine. Wearing the color pink has been called feminine... How stupid is that? The way one walks could be called feminine... The way one talks... If a person enjoys baking they could be called feminine, if they enjoy gardening... These are all simply ridiculous in my opinion.

A theory I've heard, and agree with, is that gay men are often "more feminine" because it's a sort of mating call, a way we can try attracting other males. In nature, this is why certain animals display these characteristics... To mate. Therefore, if women want to attract men, they may display these feminine traits. Along with that, if men want to attract other men, then naturally it would be no surprise for them to display these feminine traits as well. Some gay men are still masculine, and that could be due to social standards they've grown up around, or maybe they're just simply more "masculine". It's no big deal. I just think everyone should be treated equally and be treated with respect. If you're not attracted to femme guys, that's fine. But respect them. Same with masculine guys. People need to stop being so hateful, I think that's the bottom line. Gender equality and racial equality are huge issues in society and they are such pointless things to discriminate about. It's so crazy to me. Sorry I just ranted and probably contradicted myself but I'm a little overtired

 

This. It's sad how many don't grasp the concept that gender's a critical aspect of individuality. Honestly there've been times when I've gotten so frustrated and angry with "herd mentality" that I've felt like it's me against the world.

Though recently my stubborn head's opened up more to the idea that I don't have to resist the world on my own, which is an encouraging thought.

 

i think that a guy who is very feminine is like a guy who is very masculine i find both of them pretty weird.

the only difference between them is that the very masculine is more traditional whereas the feminine male isnt.

i do believe that people who are acting way too masculine or way too feminine (both males and females) are trying to show off who they are and what they stand for.

what i also hate is that the media made people think that only the feminine guys are gay...which is very unfair for both sides of the coin. It made people think that being gay means to be feminine and to act as a girl which is totally wrong to me.:dry:

 

I agree