Why do I even bother wasting energy on people?

Sorry everyone but this is going to be a major rant!

I am just sick of people ditching me when somebody better comes along. I put so much effort into trying to make others happy and am a naturally outgoing person but now i’m just thinking what’s the point? I just feel so unappreciated and like I am utterly loathsome. The majority of people in my life are great and I hate to come across as a pessimist but I just hate putting effort in and feeling defeated when it backfires. Sometimes I just feel like it would be better for everyone if I just calmed down my personality. This has happened to me so many times.

I have a lot to be grateful for because I have my girlfriend and some pretty amazing friends, as well as family of course.

Sorry for the rant and I hope everyone is having a good day/night!

 

Thanks for your reply! I’m sorry you have felt this way too, it’s a horrible way to feel. It just sucks when you felt like somebody is your friend and end up feeling like an inconvenience or even a stop gap in somebody’s life. You are completely right about the feeling of feeling like you are merely being tolerated and easily replaced, I feel exactly like that currently.

I know it’s partly down to my BPD and anxiety but I genuinely believe it too. I think the BPD is exacerbating it though, although I used a DBT skill to stop me from dealing with the situation in a very impulsive way which wouldn’t have been effective in the long run. I’m sorry you have been through the same but it’s comforting in a way to know i’m not the only one. Maybe it’s something about gemini’s (a joke obviously) because that’s my star sign too haha, sorry for going off on a tangent but are you a June or May gemini? I’m a June gemini myself.

Yes you are right- EC is a great place to vent and know you won’t be judged. I receive some great help and I like to try my hardest to re pay the favour.

 

I don’t experience this for the most part, 98% of the people I know are amazing but it kind of makes me want to withdraw despite being a very extroverted person because I feel like I am a bother to people. Oh gosh, I am so sorry that you go through this too. I hope you have recovered from your cancer now? I would love to talk to you and wouldn’t avoid you if you ever want to talk.

You are completely right, i’m glad you have great people in your life. Thank you, that is very kind and the same goes for you. Best wishes to you as well! I may be being nosey here but I would love to hear how you met your husband if you don’t mind talking about it. If it’s not too personal you can write on my wall or DM me. Have a great day and thank you for your reply!

 

It’s just somebody in my personal life.

It’s difficult isn’t it? But i’m here for you if you still want to talk in PM. There is no rush to reply instantly, I know you have a lot going on. This feeling just makes me want to withdraw and reign in my extroversion because I feel like I am utterly irritating and quite used to be honest. Almost as if I was a stop gap. Thank you- that is a very sweet thing of you to say and much appreciated! The same goes for you, you are a much better person than you believe and I enjoy talking to you.

 

Oh, I am so dumb lol. I thought I had replied but clearly not! Maybe I forgot to press send- apologies! I will get back to you now.

Thank you. I know we don’t know each other in real life or anything but I care about you (sorry if that’s weird). You are completely right that it’s hard to stop caring. I think I need to remind myself of that too. I guess i’m not always the problem and can’t be responsible for other peoples actions and decisions as difficult as that is sometimes. In fact, I think that’s good for every one to remember.

 

Thank you for saying that! I often feel it haha.

I just find it difficult because I’m a people pleaser and often tend to let people use me but luckily the majority of people I have known and do know have never done that; and despite my outgoing personality it’s difficult for me not to care but you are completely right.