Who else here has/does struggle with Social Anxiety

I understand this too. Growing up I was teased for hobbies and interests that I had. Sometimes still I feel it's hard to bring up and discuss interests or hobbies for fear of being ridiculed.

Haha I'm trying the "fake it till you make it" too. Some days it works better than others...

 

Having social anxiety is seriously the worst thing of my life all the time. It makes everything so much worse. School, family, going out. I think it is mostly the worst in school and when I'm talking to my family. I don't really know why it happens with my family mostly with the ones I don't live with but that is everyone except my mom so it's pretty bad. The worst is when the teacher in school puts everyone in groups or tells you to partner up. I probably would be over this anxiety if I didn't move. Since I already knew people, but once I moved it was seriously the worst. I didn't even get to know anybody until about half the year in. So, that's just my story about social anxiety, if it was boring I'm sorry but it was pretty hard for me to type this out too. This is definitely something that I need to work on in my life, because if I don't I probably won't have a very good life. :/

 

Ooh, THIS!! I already knew this about myself... to an extent, but didn't know it was an actual "thing". Just who I am...

I don't know if I am as severe though, as I still manage to eventually push/convince myself to do things... it just takes "FOREVER".

I avoid everything from taking and making phone calls, to job applications etc... aughhh!! (!)

 

I have social anxiety. When I am by myself or people I feel safe with I am fine, but going outside of my comfort zone is hard. Whenever I have to make a big decision, like getting health insurance or finding a doctor I feel so stuck. I have a hard time getting past my fear by myself. Calling people is very hard for me. I am always afraid that I will annoy the person I am calling. I end up avoiding things because I don't feel confident doing them alone. Also when I have strong feelings I tend to let my feelings control my actions. Then I say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It's not easy to deal with.

 

I totally relate to you esp about talking properly

 

Thanks for reading, Chloe, and for the hugs. I guess I've been through some rough patches, but there are also plenty of people who have had it a lot worse than I have. I wish I were a more resilient person, but I guess I may get there eventually. I think uncovering my sexuality is starting to make me understand why some things have hurt me so much in the past. And bullying unfortunately did a lot to cause me to bury it.

I'm also glad to hear about people like you and others here who have been able to overcome their social anxiety. It's a great inspiration

 

To the point where I have frequently wondered at what others would say were I to die, if anything at all.

Picture a whisk in a drawer full of knives and you may draw an appropriate conclusion.

 

I suffer from it too. I used to be in therapy since I was a kid since I preferred sitting in front on my computer instead of going out. I never had too many friends. Not to mention going to crowded places all by myself, although I've done that, but I'd rather not.
I had some panic attacks throughout the years, although they happend very late in my life (When I was about 29 years old)
I still live at my parents' place and I'm gonna turn 35 on August. I couldn't think of living on my own.
After having to quit my job and having a bf abroad (long story - check this thread for the full story on my relationship - http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...44041-long-distance-relationship-venting.html) I'm left stuck with my parents again, no job, no money and now I basically HAVE to move on my own once I have the money although I'm terrified of it. I'm scared of a lot of people and scared of being on my own, it's a weird combination

 

I like to describe myself as a sort of "social cripple". I only go out to work out, go to class, get groceries or go to the mall. I can't make eye contact with strangers either. It sucks, but i'll live i suppose.

 

My denial in sexuality sparked my social anxiety. for me, the more i accept my homosexualty, the less i feel scrutinized in the eye of the public. its a process, but im more happy now then a year ago. In highschool i also had some anxiety, but i was confident enough through sports and hot girlfriends (hormones allowed me to fuck girls) that i beat social anxiety in highschool and became quite popular and was a party-goer until it ended and i was faced with the fact that my ability to have sex with woman and not have anxiety ceased to exist . but like i said, im making strides. what helps alot is learning the aspect of solitude. i myself find that overtime now, i do not care about what anyone is doing. all i care about is me, idgaf about no party, i have other outlets that give me strength. in return, my social anxiety has decreased and i have been making new friends again from this self strength ive garnered. feel free to pm me if ya need anything

 

I haven't been diagnosed with anything but this sounds exactly like me too! I didn't realize it was a thing either till reading this thread. I definitely have some kind of anxiety issues, I've gotten better at dealing with it, like if have to push myself to do something I'll do it... but my instinct is generally to avoid anything involving social interaction, crowds, group gatherings etc and just be on my own. I've always been like a loner, super introverted and completely awkward around people so if there's any type of social activity I'll immediately make up an excuse to back out of it if I can.

 

Yes, I do and this is something that I've happened to realize this year. I couldn't quite put my finger on why was so worried about what others thought about me not only in public but more so when I got invited out to different things that included a large group of people. I often pass unless I really want to go. Normally I'd feel better going with someone I knew really well and when I don't I try to convince myself that it's okay and I'll be fine but I'll eventually want to leave.

Later on I have.. I don't know what you would call them.. like episodes or backflashes.. but it's like my mind reminds me that I kept interrupting a certain person, I didn't pull my shirt down, someone looked at me the wrong way and then goes off into something like "Did I offend them?", "What did I say? I can't remember!!", "I know I made a lame joke but I was just trying to be funny!!" etc.. and it sends me into this panic to the point where I stay in my house for weeks at a time because I fear making those same mistakes again.

Is it alright for me to say that I feel that way on the internet as well? Every time I talk to someone I always fear or think that they will automatically dislike me, especially if the conversation stops or they don't reply back. I tend to freak out and think that I've genuinely done something wrong and pretty much nitpick at myself until I'm completely shattered and depressed.

The hard part is, that I don't even know if I can stop myself. It's like I just want to lay down and stay there, sort of like give up for a certain amount of time until I have the energy to get up and try to fight again. I think what tops all this is that my friends who say they've had anxiety don't seem to really understand. They always tell me that I need to push myself or I just need to do this in order to get to where I need to be and when I don't follow through with their advice, they get frustrated with me. I really don't know what else to do.

 

I do...

 

Yeah i wish i could overcome it! i always thought i was just weird that i was the only one that froze and could not deal with anything involving other people, untill i realised it was in fact a problem many share and that people have overcome it which gives me hope, i used to litterally live indoors my four walls of my room was all i saw for years just gaming away my life, i was too scared to leave the house alone it would give me panic attacks now i can do that i guess, but i feel like such an idiot when im with people or if someone speaks to me, i dont know what to say i cant look them in the eye, i feel any little thing i do say is stupid, with pauses and stuttering over my words i try avoid any interactions at all costs, if i am forced into being in a social gathering im just the silent one that has nothing to say really, i worry for weeks before what i could talk about what is there to say to people ? not getting out much means there isnt alot in my life to talk about i would love to be doing things but i dont really have any friends irl, but i can talk online to people im totally different online i feel free that i can be me, no one would ever guess i had this problem from talking online, but the minute i would have to meet up with them i would b totally different, add alcohol also and this helps but i know i cant just go around being a drunk whenever i need to interact with people, being this way makes me feel below everyone, i always think of everyone being above me, that the times i do have an input i keep it to myself in fear of it not being worthy of being heard. We can only change things for ourselves though no magic button to instantly change our mind set for us! Would love to hear what the first steps of the stairwell others took into overcoming this though or any tips

 

I do! I'm 24 and have yet to have a successful relationship. :/ I have a disorder that's very similar to high functioning autism though, and social anxiety is a part of it. It can make things rather difficult trying to date because part of my problem is I only recognize a small portion of people's body language. I'm hoping to find someone that is understanding of that, though.

 

I have social anxiety, but it's not natural.

Contrary to what people think social anxiety can affect extrovert. I basically thrive off other people. So much so that I basically can seem obsessed with what people think of me.

As a kid I was pretty popular, very social, didn't lack friends. Didn't lack friends either throughout highschool. Basically was the LAST person, and I actually mean this, the LAST person you would think would be shy of people. I was so extroverted I can remember not having a problem striking up a conversation with anyone, even people that seemed to not like me; I wanted to talk to them even more almost.

Everything changed after highschool.

I heard homophobic comments my whole life, so that was always slowly chipping away at me. But I was sort of in a complete denial in highschool about being gay ; I knew I was gay I just didn't accept it. So that helped me stay detached from comments.

Once I got older and started really identifying as gay, that's when homophobic comments started to get at me.

They slowly ate away at me, that I became nervous to befriend anyone out of fear of them ending up being a homophobe.

This made be very anti-social, and fearful of any type of social situation that involved new people. I hated thinking about getting attached to someone only to find out they can't or won't accept me.

Fast forward a year from that point and I'm at a job at a propane processing plant. Working with basically the dumbest, most macho people on earth. Basically the worst place someone who is struggling with being gay should be.

I was friends with the people at work, but one guy started to make fun of me, basically on a daily basis, it got so bad that I dreaded going to work. He would call me ugly; and give reasons why not just generic, and would make fun of me for being gay. He basically outed me everyday, and made fun of how I look...etc everyday. This went on for two years before I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore and quit. I literally went out for lunch and never went back, and do no regret it one bit.

This destroyed my self esteem, I mean completely destroyed it. So bad that I developed social anxiety, I began to accept what this guy that bullied me said about me. I began to believe it, and now I basically do believe it and am struggling with trying to change my mind.

I never got bullied as a kid, and never bullied anyone, I had no experience with it.

But it fucking sucks, if it goes on long enough it can alter your personality completely.

I went from a generally happy go lucky guy with a decent amount of confidence, to being terrified of interacting with people.

I think everyone I interact with is staring at my nose, or my acne; I get acne and it fucking sucks.

It makes it impossible for me to have a normal relationship because I am always making up reasons why I am not good enough.

Social anxiety fucking sucks, it ruins lives.

The only way to get over it is through exposure, and just doing what you are afraid off. You need to have positive experiences from what you fear in order to get rid of it.

I still am struggling with it, but try to force myself into situations.

I've cried, panicked done everything over this bullshit.

It's no fun. I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with it.