When did you know?

Well according to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development Identity vs Role confusion occurs during Adolescence (Ages 12-18). Basically we ask ourselves "Who am I and where am I going?"

Now when did I know? I started thinking about it the summer of my freshmen year before sophomore year and then I came out to my friends sophomore year. But I had always known because I found guys attractive, but I was in denial.

 

when i was little, I had always known something was different, but playing with barbies and trying on my sisters dance clothes was a pretty clear indicator too. Around 5th grade I told my parents I was gay, and they told me it was just admiration. So i believed them, yet at the same time not really. I saw they didn't jump at the idea of a gay son so I went into denial, and tried to change who I was, trying to only think about girls and everything else masculine/hetero but that really didn't work so well. I still masturbated to gay porn, but after I was always disgusted with myself. It wasn't until maybe 2-3 months ago, I really began to accept my sexuality, and not see anything wrong with it. Getting the nerve to tell people is another story completely lol
So first realized it/thinking about it....like 8-9 years old
Confirmed and accepted...18

 

i wish i knew when i started questioning whether or not i was gay. the thought certainly crossed my mind in high school - i just couldn't understand why all of my friends swooned over guys - but i didn't like girls, either, so i didn't seriously consider the possibility of being gay.

in the spring of my first year in college i felt very drawn to a girl i knew, though i don't think i recognized it as attraction until some time later... a good ten months or so? at some point over that summer i saw a very beautiful woman at the gym, beautiful in the WOW sense, which i found curious, so i decided perhaps i was a kinsey 1. i still couldn't really see myself with anyone, regardless of sex, but i assumed i was mostly straight.

after that moment over the summer, i honestly didn't think about it much. i just didn't like anyone. it was some time in the spring of my second year that i seriously began to question my sexuality, in large part due to the realization that i LIKED the girl i felt "drawn to" first year. a few weeks after that realization came the "this is absolutely all i can think about" period, which lasted a few days. i talked to my campus minister about it and, a few days later, came out to several friends as "maybe gay". that progressed to "probably gay" and "pretty sure i'm gay" over the summer, culminating in "gay" (while still leaving room mentally for the possibility of attraction to guys).

sorry that is ridiculously long and very much stream-of-consciousness; i've never sat down and mapped it out before. although it was a very very short time between my "serious questioning" and me telling people about it, looking back i wonder what signs i might have missed along the way.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to think through it all. one of the best pieces of advice i got was this: "try sitting with the questions for a while, and letting that be okay." good luck figuring it all out, and i hope in the meantime you can live comfortably with the questions.

 

I started to question my sexuality when I was around 12 or 13 years old. I knew I was gay by the time I began high school, but I didn't accept myself and start coming out until I was sophomore in college.

 

I learned that I was Bi when I was 11, I stuggled with it for a few years, but then I found Empty Closets.

 

Well I always knew there wasn't something quite 'right' from the age of about 7 onwards (before that, I don't think my brain wanted to think lol).
But I finally figured out that I was transsexual about the age of 15. Unfortunately my mum found out (after I probably forgot to erase my google history or something after researching stuff). So after she had a go at me - saying I'm choosing the wrong path (as if it's a choice :/ ), I repressed all my feelings for years in order to be her 'perfect' child, until now where I feel like I can't go on hiding who I really am at 19. So now having found EmptyClosets - I can finally admit it without having to worry about anything

 

I've been attracted to guys for as long as I could remember. I also remember being attracted to girls, but that went away around the age of 17 and I was stuck with guys.

I definitely knew I was 100% gay when I was watching High School Musical 3 and I couldn't take my eyes off Zac Efron. <3

 

I've been been attracted to guys for years. Even as far back as elementary school. Nothing sexual, I'd just really wanted to be friends with this cute guy. In middle school, I started looking at :***: more and more. I didn't think anything of it. And then later, when I started high school, I started to try and peek at guys more and more. I only just confronted it this July, and came out as bi. But lately, I've been losing my meager interest in females, and that's when I knew I was gay.

 

I started questioning at the end of middle school. I eventually repressed my feelings because I thought that it was a sin. But then the same feelings came back my junior year of high school. I accepted that I was bi near the end of my senior year. I came out to 2 friends and my mom over the summer. Then I came to school and realized that I was sexually attracted to women and emotionally attracted to men. That's when I realized that I was in fact a biromantic lesbian.
Sorry this was so long.

 

There were some hints in my childhood when I got affectionate with men and felt closer to them more than women, but the first time I ever thought about the idea of being with another guy was near the end of Middle School at age twelve approaching thirteen. Ever since then, I loved the idea of it, but I tried to deny it throughout High School. Near the end of High School (whilst waiting for the GCSE results), I finally realised it and knew I was gay.

 

Well now that I look back the first sign was when i was on second grade buy i didn't know what it was. When I was about 10 or 11 I figured I was different because I had a huge crush on a guy in my class I didn't have a name for it at the time but I guess that was when i figured I was gay but later on I began thinking maybe I am bi. During this time I came out to my mom as bi. After a while I figure out that I just liked to flirt with girls and that was it.
I have had a few times when I questioned it but now I know I'm gay.

 

When I was about 8 or 9 and noticed I was in love with my best friend.

 

I first started to question my sexuality when I was 14.
First, I thought I was bisexual because I had an increasing attraction for guys. But soon later, though I realized I had very limited attraction to girls and was attracted to guys much more, I still couldn't admit to myself that I was gay.

It was only when I turned 15 did it occur to me that "Hmm..perhaps I am gay after all!.." I still was not 100% sure, however, so I resolved to wait before reaching a definite conclusion and let time tell. Only by the end of that school year (11th grade) was I sure of my sexual orientation and finally acknowledged the fact that I'm gay to myself. In September of last year (12th grade), I came out to the first person ever, my sister, who was completely ok with my homosexuality and made it entirely a non-issue. I then resolved to come out to my mom in October, which I did, and then to a small group of close friends. Every coming out made me more sure of my sexuality, and reaffirmed to me the fact that I am gay and glad of who I am. As of this October (age 16), I've completely come out to everyone at my university; to be honest, I've only been completely sure of who I am after I've come out to everyone -- and it's the best thing ever.

 

First thought about guys? Probably Grade 7.

Repressed it for most of high school (it's just a phase, it'll figure itself out, I'll meet a girl eventually, I just am not ready to date, etc. etc.)

Seriously started considering it the summer before university (when I also joined EC)

Realized it a couple months after when I was on vacation. We were walking around and I saw a gay couple holding hands, with no worries, then one guy lifted the hands and gave it a gentle kiss... I can honestly say my heart melted then and there.

Came to terms with it slowly over the course of first year of university, thanks to many nights of soul searching.

Came out for the first time end of June, and the ball's been rolling ever since.

 

Looking back now I see all the little crushes I had on guys in school going back as far as grade school to some degree and and liking some guys on TV/movies. I didn't know the truth about human sexuality so my understanding of gay was girly, wimp, sissy, and a negative insult. I assumed I'd meet a girl, become friends, and eventually get married since that's all I knew. At the same time, I didn't see the big deal with women and why guys couldn't wait for marriage to have sex, but I didn't think much of it since I just went along with what other guys said. So finally just after college when I was about 23 it dawned on me, I must be gay!

Honestly the show Will and Grace helped me realize that some guys want to be with other guys and are not into women. It sounds crazy, but I never knew of any gay people and the ones who I heard rumors about were always because they were the ones into theatre and fashion and I didn't relate to that. I still find it amazing that I went to a huge university and yet didn't really know of any gay people. Maybe I knew more, but ignored it, I dunno, but I hate that I was so dense and clueless. That's why I think it's important that schools teach the facts of human sexuality during the sex ed class in 5th or 6th grade. Even though there are a lot more gay topics in the media now than when I grew up, I'm sure some kid is still out there like me who is oblivious to what being gay really means.

 

Thats hilarious. I played with my beanie babies..., and my mom had no clue, and while there were straight couples among them, there was also some that were gay. The mcdonalds versions made great kids too. lol, as ridiculous as that is, I still have them.

Anyway, looking back I see all sorts of clues I think, but it just seems like I was in really strong denial. I just totally blocked it out. I watched straight porn for sometime, but I was looking at girl in the sense that I wanted her, I was usually thinking about being her. I never thought about it, I've always been different, even really young, but until just within this past year did I question.

It happened too fast though, I had a bit of an identity crisis. I still am not positive. But I try to remind myself that everyone is different. I too saw gays as being feminine and flamboyuont. So its just like realizing and accepting that gay people come in just as much variation as anyone else, and that includes how and when they learn and accept.

 

Started noticing boys - age 12
Starting experimenting with boys - age 16
Started thinking I could be gay - age 17
Able to admit I was Gay or at least had feelings for guys - age 19
Started coming out to friends - age 19

 

Started questioning last year

admitted to myself I wasn't straight, late January

 

I knew I was a boy when I was six. I knew I liked men as well as women when I was 12. Upon realisation of both, I was scared of 'divine retribution', but eventually I realised that was BS and became a humanist. .