I am 17 years old.. going to be 18 in August and I have never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone- never even held hands with anyone. I started off highschool pretty sure that I would find myself a boyfriend and have your stereotypical highschool experience. Now, as a senior, I know that that was rather stupid. Lots of things changed. I grew as a person and made many friends. I realised I was attracted to girls as well as guys. I found out what I wanted to do with myself in the future. That's not what I am worried about- I can't seem to fall in love anymore.. is this normal? I had a LOT of crushes growing up and several in high school as well.. but it's like suddenly I can't seem to get the flutters for anyone anymore. I honestly miss the excitement and pureness of those feelings. I am not sure if I am overthinking (I feel like I am) but I really want to know what's happening to me? It's been around half a year now since I started experiencing this. Is it an extreme case of low self-esteem? The only attraction I feel is a slight "oh he/she looks pretty" and I shrug it off- that's it. I know I haven't been too lucky with love but I don't want to throw in the towel and give up already- but it's like a part of me has stopped trying. Is this normal? Thanks so much for reading this.. idk I was just wondering if someone knows where I'm coming from. Thanks again
You are overthinking and putting yourself under far too much pressure. There is no rule that you should be in love or in a relationship... or even be kissing and holding hands by a set date/time. Just because you see other people doing these things and putting on a show, doesn't mean you need to follow. There's a whole world beyond school and you will meet many more people yet. Just because your heart isn't on fire now, doesn't mean it never will happen. Give yourself a break and just allow things to happen as and when they will. At 17/18 you have a whole lot of living to do and you don't need to pin yourself down to anything or anyone just yet.
Sometimes loneliness can make you apathetic to these types of feelings, but I agree you shouldn’t be focusing on it all the time. Being in a relationship won’t suddenly make you feel wonderful all the time, and won’t fix your self esteem if you already feel low about yourself. They’re a lot of work and no one is perfect, we all have our own personal, psychological flaws and problems and those still exist in relationships. Love can’t cure anyone of anything, companionship just tends to lighten the load emotionally and can help give us motivation if they’re healthy and maintained constructively, but the work does have to be put in. Let relationships come naturally, start with companionship and friendship and healthy communication, having fun together, and being cooperative with others and wanting to see them happy and comfortable and just enjoy giving and being vulnerable together but don’t go in with expectations for a relationship.. it’s not all about the immediate rush of attraction or establishing that you’re “dating”, even though that can be exciting it shouldn’t be the goal to feel that way. I’d say the less you try and focus on it and get apprehensive about it and the more things will come naturally when you’re just being yourself openly and comfortably.
