Hello. So I'm in a long distance with this boy I met online and he seemed to really fall for me and that started to terrify me. People always end up hurting and leaving me and I'm afraid this would happen with my boyfriend. And now it sort of (not really) has. So a few days ago I got some really strange messages from his parents saying that he doesn't need "this crap in his life" and that our "relationship is over." And I got so confused and me being the sensitive person I am started to cry my eyes out. I thought our relationship was over and I didn't know how to deal with it. I left him SO MANY messages and missed calls, its crazy. And makes me seem really clingy. Anyway, yesterday I got a text that said: "I'm sorry about my parents." I asked what was going on and he still won't answer me. And I KNOW I just need to wait and give things time but he's the only person that makes me happy and I feel so depressed and feel like killing myself without him. He's the only good thing in my life. And I feel like its all fucked up. And for some reason, I feel its somehow my fault. I just don't know how to deal with this. I cant tell people and talk about it because my family doesn't like the idea of me being gay. And I don't really trust my friends with this either. Please help me! I really don't know what to do. My bf won't answer me and I'm worried that he may not want to be with me or something I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting but I just don't know what to do.
I think it would be hasty to assume anything related to his frame of mind. From what you've said, it sounds like he's getting a lot of pressure from his parents not to be in a relationship with you, and I suspect that it has to do with being LGBT as well. Given that, he could just be unable to reply due to lack of access to devices. He could feel badly himself about staying in contact, thinking that he's bringing negativity into your life. Or he could just be going through a tense time with his parents and focusing on that for now. So, in all seriousness, I would give it some time to settle down and get sorted out before coming to any conclusions. In the meantime, however - in your post here, you've already said a bunch of things, such as "he's the only person that makes me happy," "people always end up hurting me and leaving," and "I feel like killing myself without him." If statements like these are really how you feel, then this is something you'll have to confront eventually. No relationship, whether gay or straight, in person or long distance, young or old, will last in a healthy way if these are the case. It may be really hard right now, but I would really encourage you to branch out a bit and find some other interests. Maybe spending time with any friends, some project to work on over the holidays, a club at school, even just a game to play or something like that.
