I am completely confused but I will try and keep my questions to a minimum.... So here is the dilemma: Most of my friends are bisexual and I've always said that I am because then i don't have to explain what omnisexual means.... But with gender all my friends are cis fem and don't have any help to offer. The problem is that I don't know what gender I am... I like to dress feminine on most days but I act more masculine. I use they/them pronouns most of the time because I don't want to risk being called he or she when I feel like the other. Some days I almost burst when someone says my deadname or calls me a girl, but I feel safer being protected by my given name. I wish I could chop my hair off so I could feel more comfortable but I have been told not to. Some days I am proud of my curves and other days I am self conscious about it. I just don't understand... And sometimes I don't feel feminine or masculine, I just... am. Any possible suggestions on what gender I might be so I can research are welcome. Thanks for your time, Lo
Oooh, okay. It's hard to say for sure, because it's YOUR gender and it's how YOU feel. It does sound like genderfluid would be a fitting label, as you said you kind of shift between feminine, masculine, and androgynous depending on the day. Me personally, I identify as bigender and also use they/them, but I do also shift between the two. I do understand being deadnamed and being called a girl. Unfortunately, that's bound to happen even when you ARE out. I came out at the beginning of the school year and there are only two people who use my correct pronouns. You just can't let it get to you (Easier said than done, I know.) Do you have a best friend you trust? Or somebody you know would be willing to use your pronouns? If you do, maybe try telling them if you're ready. That way, you can kinda keep them around and others can mimick them using the correct pronouns. Alsooo, as for your hair, I completely understand that too. I've asked both of my parents if I could cut my hair short, and they've both refused. I just try to remember that people can pass as non-binary or whatever they want to pass as even with long hair. I wish you luck on your journey of finding out your gender and finding people who accept you. Remember, you do deserve validation on your gender no matter what you look like, whether you're more femme, masc or androgynous. If you wanna talk or have any questions feel free to message me!! Ciao!~ <3
thank you sm i'll look into it... thanks for taking the time out of your day to write such a thoughtful response.
No problem!! I just wanted to help. I went through a similar experience I think, and so I wanted to give you some advice that worked for me <3 have a lovely day!
Like Pluto, the best label I can think of is genderfluid. But have you considered pangender/polygender? You seem to identify as female sometimes, male sometimes, nonbinary sometimes, and androgynous sometimes. My friend is polygender- He likes all pronouns but he prefers he/him, he feels female, male, nonbinary, and androgynous in different times. I feel like you're either gender-fluid or polygender, but I wouldn't want to judge your gender myself because your gender is eventually up to you. I went through a difficult time myself, struggling between nonbinary and trans male, but I eventually realized that I was trans male and settled on using both he/him and they/them pronouns. You could also consider using multiple pronouns, but it's just a suggestion. Have a nice day!
