I should probably clarify a bit where I am coming from here... On this forum there is a lot of push to be authentic in regards to one's sexuality. In this "later than life" portion of the forum there are often married folks who start to realize, at older ages that those pesky same sex attractions really are important and defining. In some cases we may discover that we are gay and that we really desire, and need, to be with someone of the same sex. Yet, we have spouses and families that we have rely on us. Strictly speaking, sexual orientation authenticity would require us to rip the bandaid off and live as a gay person to fulfill ourselves and be true to our sexuality. Yet, for many of us, authenticity might be being the best parent we can be and that it is most important to create an environment where our children flourish. It might mean taking care of a spouse that we made a commitment to. In doing that, we might need to set aside some of our same sex needs and desires. To be clear. For many of us, we cannot be that parent if we cannot nourish our sexuality. For some of us, staying with our spouses damage them because we cannot be what they really deserve and need. So, leaving that life and living as a gay person is necessary. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just think we have to be careful in being sure that authenticity is not defined by living a particular standard as a gay or bisexual. It is a sum of a lot of different parts of one's life. To illustrate....for me. I am comfortable with my sexuality. My wife and I communicate, pretty much daily about my sexuality. I don't filter much around her. I might wear a Pride shirt running errands and I might attend gay events and parties. I might have a night out with my gay friends and I might have a boyfriend I kiss in public once in awhile. I do all those things. But, my family doesn't know, my wife's family doesn't know and none of our friends know. I keep quiet about this because my wife is fiercely independent and will not be pitied. She cannot tolerate having someone speculate on our relationship and feel sorry for her. Since we are on this journey of life together, I respect that even though I really would rather just be totally out. So, I live an inauthentic life...strictly speaking. But, for me, my wife is the most important thing. I would die for her. Not being out about my sexuality seems trivial compared to that.