1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What did I just do??

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by driedroses, Sep 12, 2017.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 3
  1. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, oh my god. Talk me down. This beautiful woman I'm seeing - I'm going to follow @RJay's lead of using an initial - so G. She's struggling with some things right now. She's in a difficult headspace and she shared that with me yesterday.

    Some background. We communicate during the day through FB messenger. It's the easiest for us; we both have family and work responsibilities that make this most efficient. And because we have somewhat opposite schedules (I'm up at 5 am; she's up until after 1 am), it works out well.

    Get to the point, right? Anyway, after some discussion last night about what she's struggling with, I had some early morning thoughts, encouragements and sent those. And then - because apparently I want to watch the world burn - I also decided it would be a good time to tell her that I love her. What the hell. Of course, I added a ton of disclaimers - because we've discussed "moving too fast", expecting too much too early.

    And you know what, I really don't care if she's not in that space right now. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not ready for this to end, though.

    It's usually after ten before she responds to my early morning notes - so a couple of hours still. Waiting for the world to burn... Good thing I have work to distract me?
     
    #1 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
    Moonsparkle and RJay like this.
  2. zumbaqueen

    zumbaqueen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    357
    Location:
    New York
    I understand why you put that out there. Sometimes our emotions just overwhelm us and in order to reconcile that we need to let go of them. It's only natural to worry about how she will respond to it. I hope it goes well for you, but even if she tells you she's not in that place yet it doesn't mean you have to end anything. Just move a little slower for a while.
     
    #2 zumbaqueen, Sep 12, 2017
    RJay and driedroses like this.
  3. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks! Yeah - the plan for the rest of the day (and forever! ha) is to not get ahead of myself. I was thinking of the media trope of person A says I love you and person B says okay, and it's this huge big deal. But I would be happy if all she says is okay, because we all have to grow into things in our own time.
     
    #3 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
    RJay likes this.
  4. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You put your heart on the line and that's admirable!! Keep us updated, but never regret sharing how you feel <3
     
    #4 Soundofmusic, Sep 12, 2017
    NeonSocks and RJay like this.
  5. RJay

    RJay
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Aww. That is so sweet. Don't regret it for a minute though I'm sure it's nerve wracking as hell. Wearing your heart on your sleeve and having the courage to be vulnerable are such admirable qualities! (Or so I'm told in reference to myself.)
     
    #5 RJay, Sep 12, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
    Moonsparkle, Leela80, OED27x and 1 other person like this.
  6. silverhalo

    silverhalo
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,723
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Exactly and better that she says it when's she means it rather than because you have said it.
     
    #6 silverhalo, Sep 12, 2017
    driedroses likes this.
  7. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2017
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    744
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know it's easier said than done, but don't spend your morning worrying!

    You put yourself out there and that is a huge step and takes a lot of courage. You were honest and open and that is also very admirable.

    Keep us all updated and know that no matter what, we are here for you!
     
    #7 NeonSocks, Sep 12, 2017
  8. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You are all such brilliant, wise people. And of course - I have a meeting from 10 - 11:30 that I forgot all about... And just because she usually responds around 10ish, doesn't mean she will today... Regardless, life goes on. The heart is what it is and wants what it wants, right?
     
    #8 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
  9. RJay

    RJay
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Let us know her response!
     
    #9 RJay, Sep 12, 2017
  10. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    When one comes! I checked messenger just a few minutes ago and it's not showing as seen yet, so...
     
    #10 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
    NeonSocks and RJay like this.
  11. zumbaqueen

    zumbaqueen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    357
    Location:
    New York
    A
    nd once again, we will all be hovered over our phones, waiting on the outcome.
     
    #11 zumbaqueen, Sep 12, 2017
    RJay and NeonSocks like this.
  12. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I feel like a teenager sitting by the phone (do teenagers still do that?) and willing it to ring... At least I can see that she hasn't seen my messages, so that's good. She's busy, right? And like I said, she's dealing with stuff, so maybe she's deliberately staying off FB today.

    I think I've officially lost my mind over her, y'all. In the best possible way, of course.
     
    #12 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
    Lego, Soundofmusic and RJay like this.
  13. RJay

    RJay
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You are the sweetest. Losing our minds over another person... even when it's unrequited, it's such a powerful feeling. One I never thought I could experience.
     
    #13 RJay, Sep 12, 2017
    driedroses likes this.
  14. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Honestly, I think you're the sweetest. I don't know that I'd drive extensively to buy cigarettes for an unrequited feeling!

    It is powerful. Our stories are similar, but so different because I have loved men - I still love my ex dearly; he's my best friend. But having lost my mind? Only as a teenager does, because I was a teenager. This is so much more - real? Right? Amazing, definitely.
     
    #14 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
  15. RJay

    RJay
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    LOL, thanks. I'm either sweet or just crazy. :wink:
     
    #15 RJay, Sep 12, 2017
  16. driedroses

    driedroses
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    334
    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Probably both! :wink: As the Cheshire Cat says - we're all a little mad here!
     
    #16 driedroses, Sep 12, 2017
    RJay likes this.
  17. leb10

    leb10
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Messages:
    223
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm rooting for a reciprocal response!
     
    #17 leb10, Sep 12, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
  18. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2017
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    744
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Me too!
     
    #18 NeonSocks, Sep 12, 2017
  19. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So normal to wait by the phone!!! People just don't admit it. Which is why it's so great that we are all sharing our experiences here.
     
    #19 Soundofmusic, Sep 12, 2017
    NeonSocks and RJay like this.
  20. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    681
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    This one is for you @driedroses :

    'Life is too short to leave important words unsaid.'

    You had important words. You said them. Beautiful.

    I really mean this. I have lived a long time as the exact flip side of this. Too cautious/too scared to say what was in my heart and mind for fear the other person would think I was a fool (or some version of that.) And THAT hesitant/reluctant sort of behavior can really backfire!

    Much better I think to say it out loud. Express your true feelings. :slight_smile:
     
    #20 Moonsparkle, Sep 12, 2017
    driedroses and NeonSocks like this.
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 3