What are you thinking?

I hate when I'm reading a textbook and I'm understanding everything fine, then I get to a part that makes no sense at all, but I figure I can skip over it. But NOPE--the whole rest of the book builds off that one part that made no sense. *sigh*

 

I really want to go back and visit San Francisco and Los Angeles...and California entirely I suppose.

 

My elderly great uncle has to see the neurosurgeon for the deterioration of his control of his hands. The worst part is that the doctors haven't actually discovered what's causing it and he's just getting worse as the months go by. They're just trying to prevent it worsening while they figure out what can be done to remedy it, if that can be done at all.

I hope they can delay it at the very least; recovery seems unlikely. He's a wonderful man with an intimidating intellect, but it's horrible to see him unable to drive, cook, write (and even typing is incredibly difficult for him now) or really do anything more than talk and walk. He's as bright as ever, but he's losing control of his body and he's hopeless to do anything.

 

I'm very sorry. I can't imagine how difficult it must be seeing this happen to someone you care about and admire greatly. :icon_sad: Even if recovery is unlikely, I hope the doctors are able to do something for him.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. Watching your relatives age is an extremely sad thing.

My paternal grandfather is 86 and has had major lung problems for most of his life due to working on elevators while asbestos was thought to be safe. For as long as I've known him, he's walked for miles every day to maintain his health and I think that's the only reason he's still around today. Unfortunately, his short-term memory is now completely shot. Every time I see him I'll get the same set of questions 5-10 times, often only seconds apart. He absolutely loves to read but won't look at anything more in-depth than a newspaper now because he can't remember what's happening if he tries to read a book. His doctor told him he shouldn't drive anymore and his response to that was basically "just put me in the ground now." It's just depressing to watch the people you love deteriorate.

 

I'm so bored...

 

I have no reason to live and should probably just jump off a bridge

 

That's awful. Even worse, it would have been entirely avoidable. I'm sorry to hear about that, especially with his own knowledge that he's essentially hopeless.

I'm not sure if it'd be worse to be entirely cognizant or to be in a perpetual flurry of lost thoughts while knowing that there's no escape from the problem.

 

Eeps, yet another reason I'm terrified of growing old.

Sorry to hear that, Aussie. I imagine it's even more difficult if you were close to or fond of him.

But I'm also sure he appreciates your thoughts and concerns. Try spending time with him, if you haven't. That's something I wouldn't mind remembering last.

 

As sad as it is for him I think it's even worse than my grandmother. I find it challenging to be there for a few hours (though I try to go as much as possible)...I can't imagine what it's like for her to live in the same house knowing they probably haven't had a substantial conversation in years. I think she has the greatest burden to deal with.

To be honest I'm not even sure if he's aware that there's anything wrong, perhaps the only possible silver lining to his condition. I'm just grateful that his long-term memory is still excellent; that would be absolutely devastating for everyone if that went away.

I honestly don't know either. If it were me I think I'd want to understand everything that's happening, even if reality is terrible, but for my grandfather I kind of hope it never really sinks in so he can still find some enjoyment out of the time he has left, even if he won't remember it.

 

My dog is possibly the cutest dog in the entire universe. 'nuff said.

 

So sleepy. Time for bed

 

Sometimes I hate going to church events but tonight was okay. My pastor said we should love everyone no matter what and a couple people said what about the gays and what about the criminals? And he just looked us dead in the eyes and said no matter what. It was pretty awesome

 

Unfortunately, he's in Switzerland and I can't get there until next year.

 

Let's just hope he holds out until then, uh?

(*hug*)

 

I can spend entire days without texting but the day I do: I look down, I send a few texts, I look up, where did my day go? What happened to my life? How did we get here? How did we get here?!?! WHERE AM I??

 

Son, I am disappoint.

Also, need to head out and go to work in about thirty minutes. Uuuuuurgh.

 

Thanks for catching that!

 

No, Aussie, exercising for three hours does not give you justification for eating a family-sized Toblerone bar.