What Are You Thinking?

Round 2 with mom can be summed up as: "I have a daughter, not a son, I never wanted a son, I won't accept it, therapist made me cry so I'm going to hate her forever, you just want to mutilate yourself."

..I flat refused to answer her when she asked "why do you want to mutilate yourself" told her it was a loaded question and I wasn't touching it.

My jaw hurts from gritting my teeth so much.

 

Thats why I'm leaving.

 

I think I'm just going to stay for university, get money saved up, then I'm moving out of state.

 

Yeah. Not even out and I figure my reception's going to be the same. Hell. They reject me, I'm highly considering moving up to Canada.

 

die die die

 

I'm so blessed! I wish I could make everyone as happy as I am!!!

 

Yawnnnnnn

 

I'm thinking Seattle.

 

Also somewhere I'm highly considering. That and San Fran.

 

I have so much built up anxiety about my first trans* group meeting today, and I'd figure a situation like this would make me relieved rather than worried.

I'm hoping it all goes well. :eusa_sile

 

Here's hoping. Yeah, believe me, it was nerve wracking going to my first support group meeting so know how it is. It'll be worth it.

 

I mean, it's expensive up there, but if I get a good job, it won't be an issue.

 

I was about to get back to work when I had a thought that seriously disturbed me. I could even feel my stomach sink and the tears start to well up in my eyes. Then another errant thought distracted me and I promptly forgot it. I don't mean I was able to ignore it; I mean I legitimately have no idea what the thought even was. I get the sense that it was actually something important, too. :eusa_thin

 

I feel like shit. Illness, go away.

 

If you are looking for more liberal areas, I would try looking into the mid to south side of the West Coast or mid to north side of the East Coast. People always tend to look to Canada for freedom, but the main cities in either of those areas can often rival it.( My vote is obviously for California. Not that its biased or anything. ; ))

San Francisco gets all of the LGBT praise, but LA, San Diego, and even some of the smaller cities can match it as far as California goes. I can't speak for the East Coast.

 

So very tired from walking everywhere yesterday and I just want to get home to take a nap after a bit of a boring day at my internship.

 

I'll just starve.

There isn't any food in here and its over 90 degrees outside. I'll just live on water and scraps today.

 

A smoker just coughed on my arm and now I feel like I have to take a shower But I can't because I'm working overnight!

 

I wanna avoid the east coast because of hurricanes and crappy winter weather. Seattle tends to have more mild winters. I mean, yeah, it'll get down in the 30s, but I'm used to winters where you'll have a high of 27 and lows in the teens for two or so weeks at a time.

 

Welp, my letter is done, it will be sitting in Google Drive until the day I move into the dorms I feel quite happy