Last week, I finally got the courage to introduce myself to a guy I had a crush on for over a month since we ride the same bus. However, I managed to miss seeing him Thursday and Friday to know what his plans were for the Labor Day Weekend. This was the closest I've gotten to approaching a guy I like and who seems to be interested in me, and I feel like such a failure just sitting in my apartment alone.
I want friends like the Sex and the City girls. Badly. I love how each of them is a personification of a particular facet of the general woman's personality. I love the unconditional support they provide for one another. They all balance each other so miraculously. It's mind-blowing. Obviously it's a work of fiction, but I still want it so much. And this is in no way correlated to the airing of the Sex and the City movie on Bravo right now... Plus the for-TV editing sucks. Especially on network channels. (*hug*)
This is what happens when you're gone all day... Bolin, glad to hear you're doing better. Won't pry but hope everything's alright...
Well, it looks like tomorrow is the day. This crushing will have a definitive end, one way or another. I hope it's the happier alternative. I'm sure either way, he'll take it fine, though. ~~~ On another note, I'm so close to 1,000 posts!
So I was at the fair with family and man... There were not only some rather attractive people but enough cisguys to make me foam at the mouth with envy. Oh man. There was this one guy. Had his wife/girlfriend with him. Kind of on the broad/sturdy side (like not heavy but well built). And yeah, for some reason, that's sort of how I want to see myself. Just...average family looking guy. Strong in a hands on sort of way.
Nothing is quite as imasculating as bleeding out of your vagina every month. Doesn't help that the pain makes me cry like a little bitch. I feel like I have the word PUSSY or tattooed across my forehead, or like there's a sign on my back that says, "Kick me in the nuts. Oh wait, I don't have any." THIS MUST ENNNNNND! :tantrum: In other news, if you can't sleep at all, how will a sleep aid that helps you fall asleep 33% faster help? Thirty-three percent of zero is still zero.
I can second that motion... Fucking shark week... :dry: But how many cismen could handle it anyway? You know, without praying for immediate death. You know, there was something on Tumblr. "Periods prepare (mostly*) women for cleaning blood out of everything. This is why most convicted murderers are men." And as for transmen...
Now you've got me thinking. Granted, my discomfort isn't anywhere near that level, but it's still frustrating at how much can be denied and suppressed for the sake of "fitting in". When you don't feel quite male and not quite female, how can you express yourself in a way that is both comfortable and understood?
Huh. This is an interesting point in my life. Cycling from anxiety to numbness to rage to more numbness to neutrality to to anxiety to numbness. Like I want to feel something but am not capable of expressing it because, from what I'm noticing, I tend to repress my emotions and then I wind up with a pit in my stomach but more clear-headed than usual. I think something might be off. Feels like some weird emotional conglomorate or an emotional limbo.
Yeah, I'm 100% male but wonder that myself, especially because a lot of people I know are going through the same thing. Maybe it's just a matter of forging your own way, seeing whatever works out and eschewing roles/expecations. - I've gotten good at detatching myself from my body. Maybe too good. Or maybe not enough. At this point, can't help but wonder if the day's ever going to come that I actually feel comfortable in my own body. ---------- Post added 31st Aug 2013 at 11:56 PM ---------- I feel the same way...
I would have included the first half but, to me, it was too long. x_x I feel the same way...[/QUOTE] Least I'm not the only one. This is just a crappy time overall for me, and the stress of unfinished summer homework makes it 100x worse. WOO LIFE.
Can relate, still, unfortunately. ._. Seems like T hasn't kicked in enough for me yet for my monthly problems to dissipate, and I'm going on three months next week... I want a hysto so bad. Fuck.
Honestly? I'm not even sure having a female body would really change much for me, since much of my comfort is centered around my identity (one that falls outside the traditional gender binary), and the ability to express it. Naturally, it would mean experimenting, and a lot of that has been ignored for much of my life. You can't do this, you can't do that. There's slight physical discomfort... I can't stand my facial hair, body odor, or bone structure, for instance. Interacting with gender-variant and TG individuals is one of those special moments I don't have to feel like a total outsider, and explain myself in vain.
There was a magazine on the stairs. I sprained both my ankles and a wrist. One of my sprained ankle keeps appearing to get better, then getting worse again
