What Are You Thinking?

school again. booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

I hope they email me back soon or I will not be happy at all with them because they shouldn't be making mistakes in the first place!

 

You had my heart in your hands, and you played it to the beat.

 

Why do I relate to Jean Grey so much...hmmm.....>_>

 

Its really sad what you've become. At least I can honestly say that I have friends here physically who I can call or go over to see and that will comfort me in person. I realize that I have something that you don't have as such, giving me a powerful advantage. Its sad that now I don't believe that you were being honest with me when we separated. Its sad that you have to continue having feelings for people just to fill the hole in your heart. You told me all of this and to be honest: I pity you. If you really are "depressed" you would've done something instead of giving me the half-assed excuses that you always gave me. If you were really "depressed" like I'm self-diagnosing myself to be, you would've gotten help. If you did all the things you say you did, you would have been a man about it and done something to help yourself. I can honestly say that tomorrow I'm gonna begin a road to making myself a better person. It would've been nice if we had done it together but since you obviously don't wanna change and continue to say "suck my cock -----, please." figuratively, you're never gonna be happy within yourself. You can never find happiness with yourself like that. It took months with you to realize that. You can say all these self-defeating comments like "Well I just suck then" or "Then I'm just hated by you" or whatever. You hide your pain with video games, laughing, saying or doing something that'll change the topic. That's the main difference between us. At least I'm brave enough to admit where I faulted and to stand up to my situation. At least I'm making the effort to attempt to get help. I'm saying this because deep down under the anger, the fact that I probably never wanna hear your name ever again, and the fact that I kick myself to even consider our friendship after what happened, I care. Even though I have zero respect, tolerance, or trust in you anymore, you deserve the lowest level of care that i can possibly give. And the lowest may be high for others but I'm a caring person and you know that. It's just I'm in a state of shock right now about what you told me and how little I can see you've accomplished. Perhaps you'll never change. Perhaps you're gonna take this message as "I hate you.". Go ahead. Say whatever you want to say about it. But in the end, who's the one keeping his promise that he was gonna get better?

And yes this is everything I am thinking.

 

(*hug*)


Now, onto what I'm thinking....I was filling out 4 job applications at the same time (yay me for multitasking!) until I reached the part about REFERENCES...

I FRIGGIN' FORGOT TO ASK PEOPLE ABOUT BEING MY REFERENCE!!! T_T So, I'm gonna have to make a trip back to work and ask some of my supervisors, and re-ask some of the people I used a couple of years ago.... T_T I hate talking on the phone! T_T

 

I've made up my mind that I'm going to the GSA meeting tonight. I won't let him run me out of the club. I just need to find some stylish lesbians to escort me for this evening's festivities.

 

my college interview just went horribly :icon_sad::icon_sad::icon_sad:

 

Last full day home and I'm bawling my eyes out over Torchwood. XD

 

Im so sorry (*hug*)

 

I'm so lucky to be in this band and I'm actually approaching being good enough to be worthy of being in said band o.0

 

can't believe summer is already over!
looking forward to 2nd year, but it sucks having to leave hk and go back home.
going to miss so much here

 

There was this guy on the train whose cellphone had a ringtone that I recognised as a cartoon series theme song, but I could't remember what cartoon.

Took me half an evening of youtube browsing, but I finally managed to find out what it was from (theme from the X-men cartoon series from the 90s)

At least I'll be able to properly sleep now xD

 

(!)yay! no school next Monday!!!!(!)

 

Today is a FANTASTIC day!!! Two packages got in today, my awesome new woot shirt (seen here: Woot® : One Day, One Deal) and my rainbow wristband!!! Not to mention that I have not much homework due tomorrow, so tonight is pretty much a free night!

 

OMGG RHCP got a new album?? I've been living under a rock for the past couple of months. :bang:

 

It came out yesterday. I didn't know until a few weeks ago and I work at a music store. Oh well. They're not the same without Frusciante anyway.

 

The umbrella was truly a wonderful invention.

 

Im having a crap day. My animation class is graded so steeply, I thought I was doing okay, but I think im failing.