Were you born gay?

I disagree. I think it is genetic, like being left handed or whatever, and is not something we learn or can control. Scientific and medical views tend to be in that direction too.

But there is no point in arguing. There are different views and not one definitive proven answer.

 

ur not getting the point. they learn their preference in sexuality while growing. I AM VERY SURE EVERYONE HERE LEARNT ABOUT SEX ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. no one was born with knowledge, it's somehting we gain though development. hence no one is born homosexual. :dry:

 

Re: was you born gay?

same here. sept that went into the Straight/Bi phase, i kept thinking how it'll work out and get grossed out. in other words, i thought i liked girls but even thinking of kissing one made me want to gag. i guess i'm super sensitive that way! XP and then that phase left when i finally came out! so all's good! born gay and proud to be that way!

 

No, you don't learn about sex. But you can't control who you find appealing and attractive. I didn't learn to find men attractive. It just happened. Do tell how one learns to be gay?

 

I think you are definately born with preferences and sexuality. For example, did you know that tiny babies and toddlers masturbate before they even know what they're doing? The idea that kids are a sexual "blank slate" is just wrong.

I do think that sexuality if fluid and can evolve though. I have ongoing confusion about whether I feel I was born gay. Like the other lesbians here, I often used to roleplay as a boy when I was very small. For as long as I can remember I've been playing Dads and boyfriends to my friends. But that's not very conclusive evidence.

I wasn't interested in boys at all until secondary school. Then I had some crushes on guys, but it was mainly just a platonic, girl-crush thing. I wanted to be friends with the boys, and it seemed like the only way to do that was to be their girlfriend. I probably would rather have just hung out with them normally, but boys can be very cliquey and protectionist against girls

I think I had a phase when I really needed an outlet for my sexuality and the only way I could think of was straight. It was quite frightening to admit I might be attracted to girls.

But since I did admit that, I seem to be more and more gay. It feels like I'm returning to the real me who's always been there since I was small, but who got lost somewhere along the shitty path of puberty.

 

you dont learn it...its just like...when ur 5 or 6..its your first social time...like..EVER....so..u start to notice ppl..u know who u want as your friends.....and u know who you dont like...so..shouldnt u know who u like too??i didnt....but..i remember...not ever wanting to like girls that way....i know...MOST kindergardeners think that way..but...i mean like in a "hey..will u be my sister/best friend" way..as in "i would TOTALLY NEVVVVEEERRRR kisss uuuu..." but with boys..it was..."hey...i want to be his friend...and i would TOTALLY..."...but i was scared then..so..i never really had complete thoughts about it..T_T..but ya..so ur right..its not the same as teens and older..but still...

but hey..im not trying to start arguments or anything..everyone has their opinion..just stating mine..

 

By that logic, no one is born straight either. (shrug)

I think I see where you are coming fromw ith this, with a John Locke sort of blank slte type thing. But I think you should know that there are other positions out there and psychologists and scientists from all different fields (from behaviorists to geneticists) working on the "why" question and we still don't know. It's not quite so simple.

 

We have 3 instincts:

1. Food
2. Sleep
3. Sex

It's been that way for a looooong time down the evolution chain. Who we're attacted to is something that we can't choose. It might be DNA, development, or environment. Personally I think it's all 3: there's some DNA that can provide potential for homosexuality, then during development it's triggered by the environment/hormones.

At least we can all agree that it's not a choice.

 

Yeah there's no denying it - I was definitely born gay/lesbian. Although it all only clicked when i was 15 there were red flags everywhere in my youth.

I never owned a single doll (i'm talking barbie or similar) purely by choice, I refused to wear dresses/skirts & other girly clothes but preferred my brother's 6 sizes too big hand-me-down clothing with holes in it and I always related better to the boys at school than the girls - i just didn't get them.

 

I read a research paper the other day that says in light of new research into the field of sexuality - some believe there are actually 2 distinct sexual orientations that the human genome will define (just whether you are tall or short, female or male) and they are either heterosexual or homosexual...interesting i thought:icon_wink

 

Hey I can offer a small chunk of info on this. From my GCSE statistics coursework I discovered that boys wiith older brothers are more likely to be gay. Further research told me that this may be because of residual chemicals left in the womb after the birth of a boy the trend is the more older brother the more likely you are to be gay. So according to this research it depends on what you define as birth. If it's the leaving of the womb then it suggests that there is a definate possibility that some people may be born gay however if you define birth as the point of which the sperm meats with the egg then perhaps people are not born gay. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone as I have no older brothers.

 

What? I AM an older brother, and I'm gay.

 

I believe people are genetically programmed to be attracted to the same or opposite, or both sexes. However, the upbringing of the person has an effect in which the sexual feeling may be re-orientated in a particular way, and may be contrary to the natural feelings of the individual. Despite this, the ultimate desire is inexorably present and whether or not the upbringing has imposed a set of values contrary to the natural feeling, there will always be an attraction in accordance to those feelings.

Furthermore, I believe there are varying degrees of sexuality and not always an absolute, singular orientation. For example, I did fancy a few girls, but that was probably due to my resistance to homosexuality and the manifestation of my feelings in the most easily attractable person. I always was attracted to the opposite sex whether I suppressed it or not. Now I have learned to follow my naturally programmed feelings. As the "Kinsey report" suggests, these varying degrees of sexuality mean very few people who are 100% gay or straight,with many swinging one way or the other depending on their degree of sexual attraction and some swinging both ways due to the lack of overriding sexual attraction in either direction.

Ultimately, it takes time to realize one's true sexual orientation in a society where homosexuality is generally considered to be different or wrong.

 

I think I was born with an attraction to both genders. Although, like a lot of people, there weren't any signs of it until I got into my early teens. I alway was a bit of a tomboy, though. I HATED dolls with an intense passion. I much preferred running around outside, especially if it involved getting myself either soaking wet from puddles or covered in mud or what have you... which was quite easy to manage as there was a pond behind our house at the time. :lol:

 

well I cant give a definate answer but I remeber as a kid when i used to go with my mom and get my sister from school, i would sit in the car and look at all the other kids go by i was about to say to my mom "mom why do the guys look cuter then the girls?" but for some reasons I never did even tho I didnt think that would be gay back then since I was like 10.

 

idk, i think i was born bi. i remember when i was in like k-2 grades i always was nervous around girls/boys bc i like them.

 

I don't think i was born gay because i had gf and crushes on girls befor but then around third grade i meet this boy that WOOF! thats when everything changed...

 

Yes, I feel I was, but due to being brought up in a very religious household, I feel that I was expected to like girls, and I went through a bi phase for a while, but then I stopped doing what others were expecting of me.

 

I'm brought up in a straight environment and I *did* expect myself to like girls...


...but then I found out that I have the feelings towards men and woman as well.