we're no longer dating, but still want to try him

used to date this guy who's 3 years younger than me (i'm 23, btw). never spent money on him on our dates, i made that clear with him. i initially thought everything went well... not until our 5th date when i asked him what to expect in this setup. his response was hazy, like he's 'going with the flow' 'he's enjoying it so far' etc. after that night, i got no response from him at all, no texts & fb msgs etc. he told me not to give up on him though.

a week later, he replied to my fb msg that he's not ready yet for a relationship, he initially thought he was confident about our setup but paranoia caught him again (he's a closeted gay) and told me he still needs time to figure things out. he's on his final year and admitted he's too swamped on his studies and can't give time for me so he is letting me go.

i knew there IS a huge potential that it could work into a serious relationship because our feelings were mutual. but i too decided to cut it off eventually after several denials of trying to hold on to it. i don't want to invest my time on someone who has personal issues and still on the crossroads on what to do with his life.

that's now over and done to me, i get it, and i don't want to expect anything more in the future. however, a part of me wants to work it with him though... perhaps years later. but i know chances are slim, time changes people.


three weeks later of NC, he sent me a message before i went to trekking. he knows about it because we belong to the same group of friends. i dunno why, but i didn't care that much anymore. we're still in good terms though, but we don't communicate that much as we used to be.


he's actually my first (and his first as well), and i do want to try him despite everything not working out well. no feelings involved this time. what to do? :/

 

yes. but i don't want to sound like a pervert.
he told me that someone attempted to approach him (among our group of friends) and eventually found out that guy's up for just sex. and he doesn't like it. i would love to hear a different way for him to agree on it.

 

ugh... i can't do it. i don't want him just for buddy sex.
i'm still trying to move on, which i'm doing quite well on it. i managed not to communicate to him at all for weeks, despite that i always see him active in our fb group chat.


but last night, he greeted me happy valentines through text. and it's irritating because i'm trying to forget him. he already had initiated to communicate to me twice. i don't want to expect anything more from him, but what are these gestures?
i still manage to keep my responses short and end our conversation first to make it look like im no longer interested in him.

it's tough.
i do genuinely want him to be my bf but this time i'd want him to do the first move.
he's still pretty swamped on his studies and has no time for relationships when i joked him how his valentines day was, and now i'm thinking maybe it was a solid excuse when he said that he can't really be the person for me right now...that i deserve someone who's there when i need that guy... and not leave me when times are rough...



is there a hope to his guys? a part of me still want to make it work. i dunno. but pride tells me not to. i've done my effort already before, and i think that is enough.