Great, really great. 11 men -- 4 of us similar ages, divorced, dealing with similar things. A couple of young guys, just beginning to work on things. A couple guys out just a few months. As the new guy tonight, my questions got a lot of attention. And wow, the guys were fantastic. When I introduced myself, I said I was questioning gay, in a hetero relationship. Later during the night one of the younger guys asked me point blank -- are you bi or gay? Took me a minute -- I said gay, I know I'm gay. So -- I think I can say I came out to 10 people tonight :icon_bigg
That's nice that you had a good experience there. It really helps to be around people that are similar to yourself. Exactly how did you find out about this group?
I am so happy for you. It sounds like you have found a good place. Next week I am starting with an LGBTQ support group at the university where I work. I am excited and anxious about it. Your experience gives me hope. Thanks for sharing.
When I first walked in the room I thought theyre all young college guys- nothing in common. That was stupid of me, more guys showed up, and whether you're coming out at 18 or 50- lot of same concerns anxieties questions. It's a little far for me (almost an hour drive) I'm hoping to find a closer group to regularly go to, but for sure will go back After Each meeting they all go out afterwards either to a diner or gay bar. So if I can keep going and make friends with these guys it would be a great way to start learning about things I can do as an out gay guy. Found this pride center online , it's in a nearby university town, but clearly men of all ages there (tonight there were 3 men's support groups of various kinds going on)
oh interesting. i saw that there is a Queer center in DC. i wonder if they have support groups for me too? i am really having a hard time with no straight men, no gays, and no transitioned transmen in my life right now. Going this alone is not safe or emotionally easy.
That's awesome! I've been wanting to go to a lgbtq support group for a while. That's great you had an awesome first experience.
Pete, That's a really enormous step for you. Congrats! I hope it helps you sort through things. I just came out (accompanied by a huge emotional meltdown) to two guys this week. I feel SO much better about myself. I think the part I feel best about is that I know that I can't go back into the closet. I mean, I was REALLY emotional - distressed, weeping, trembling, anxiety, etc. The two guys I told will never believe me if I say, "Oh, just kidding! I'm not really gay." At first, that's why I was freaking out so much, I think. But now, that's what I feel so comfortable about. I'm glad that I told someone something that I've never told anyone before.
Great Step Pete!!! So happy for you. I know you are concerned about the risks of losing everything you have if you come out - hopefully this will give you a chance to see what you might gain!
As much as going to the group is about emotional support... let's be clear -- its also about me looking forward to getting laid once I'm out...* Another guy getting out of his hetero relationship made a great comment that just makes me smile a devilish grin -- he told me "sex with a guy is 900 times better than sex with a woman." (*not necessarily with any of those guys!)
Exactly. And its true. You just fully came to terms and accepted yourself after all this time, as long as you are responsible you should get to have a little fun. I hope it continues to go well in the future.
Congrats PeteNJ!!!! I need to find a group like that. The odds are I will have to travel as well. I think I'm ready to take that next step.
Went again last night. That's 3 meetings so far. Let me try and describe what its like -- the whole feeling. -- I'm with a bunch of other people, both younger and older than me (some a lot younger, some a lot older). -- Everyone is struggling with -- whom do I tell? when? -- Some are sexually active, in reality all of us want to be (me too!) -- All of us have felt the sting of anti gay comments, behavior. (me less so, some terribly much) -- Did I say -- the groups have been so damn accepting, open, welcoming? -- Its awesome to hear someone say something, that not quite what I'm thinking, is so much the same. -- Gay guys, in general, are damn funny, interesting, pretty darned cute. -- MOST OF ALL -- I'm not alone, we can all be in this together. Last night the group was going out to a gay bar. Lord I wished I'd have gone along (but I still have a kid at home I need to get back to). I'm making friends. And exchanged numbers and texting with a great guy who I'm going to meet up with soon. Though I know I have some really hard things I need to do to get my life straight (haha!) with others, deep inside me I am happy. Peace