Ok so this happened like three weeks ago so I was meeting my new counselor for the second time and I took a little test to if how depressed I was if I was any and so after it is done it showed that I have mild depression which felt strange to me because I'm always cheerful but it also made a lot of sense so I was thinking maybe my cheerfulness is like my way of copping with it or maybe I'm being a little dumb butt so yeah
Many, many people put a veneer of happiness over top of underlying depression or grief. It's good that you're getting in touch with it, because ultimately you'll be a lot happier as you work through whatever the underlying issues are.