I recently moved to a city that has a number of gay bars — which is a luxury I've never had before — and I really want to go check some out. The catch is that I've never just gone out to a bar alone other than waiting on someone else to meet me, and I'm a little unsure of the social cues involved. To clarify, I'm not exactly looking for a hookup so much as casual conversations or new friends, though I'm also not averse to flirting with people. In the event I don't really feel like approaching anyone — and if no one comes up to talk to me — would it be seen as odd or standoffish for me to just have a drink or two and leave? I ask mostly because I don't want to ruin how people perceive me before I even have a chance to dive into the community here. And a followup question: is it weird to go up and start chatting with someone at a gay bar with the intention of becoming friends rather than dating? All small stuff, I know, but I'm interested to hear how some of y'all have navigated this territory.
Go, sit at the bar and talk to the bar tender. Let them know you are new in town and ask about fun stuff to do or cool places to go get what ever your favorite food is. If you see a lone person at a pool table or dart board maybe ask them to teach you to play. I suck at pool, but I would still probably teach someone to play if they asked.
Twenty-five years later I still have friends I met on my first trip to a gay bar, where I went alone. Actually I was out with one of those friends from that first trip some five years later at that same bar when I met my husband. Good stuff can happen! Go, have fun. Tell people you're new in town, let them take it from there.
It appears stand off ish If you're rude to people. Just be friendly and act as if you could careless about making new friends. At least that's how I met my friend Mark, after he bought me a drink and slid next to my seat
