Users are very self absorbed. You have lost a member.

Precisely.

Who am I to give you advice that could be misleading on a topic I have little or no experience in? It's like a tortoise teaching you how to fly. :/

 

I would like to draw your attention to the number of "self-absorbed" users who bothered to reply to this thread.

 

Be the change you wish to see. x

 

I can understand why you are frustrated, but remember, nobody on this forum is being paid to be here, and the staff are only here on a voluntary basis, donating their time to help people. And out of 13,000 members, only a small amount of those would be active.

But part of the reason you won't get a quick reply is not only if you post at a time when few people are online (e.g. Australian 'Prime Time' - everyone else is at work or sleeping), but because some people are reluctant to give advice. The reason why your help thread won't have 50 replies within 2 days is because more often than not, one poster has dealt with all that needs to be discussed, so further input from others is just unnecessary spam.

Alternatively, in your case, some people may just be wanting someone else to answer. I know for the most part, I don't give a lot of advice because I feel either my advice sounds stupid, useless, or that I simply don't have time to read into somebody's case. I don't read support/advice threads to boost my self-confidence.

 

Too bad you feel that way. As you can see EC has helped out a lot of people. Many of us found this site looking for advice, not to give advice. But many do give advice and help others. Have you helped others? I try to give advice to people but sometimes i dont know what to respond because i never been in the situation they are talking about and i dont know what to say. So why bother saying something useless and offering my help if i dont know how to help....

Maybe you are one of the self absorbed people on here. Take a look at your posts.. 452 and you have been here since 2008. while there people that have been here a couple of months and already have more than you. so maybe you shouldnt be saying that. Theres plenty of people here who i have seen frequently giving advice, and i dont recall seeing you... lets see if you come back in search of more advice in your time of need.

 

Have you thought that maybe the people wanted to help and realised they couldn't and didn't want to make a bad situation worse.

I really don't see how you have the right to question the motives of other members when it seems that you don't visit the site enough to actually know the members.

Maybe we will be a better site without you.

 

don't know if you're still here or if you're probably lurking but i see what you're saying and agree with you but at the same time, you cannot rely on the internet as your only source for seeking help. it's just not going to work. the internet can only help you out so much. you might have to go outside and do a little searching as well. you live in toronto so you pretty much have a bunch of resources at your reach. what it sounds like is you're looking for someone to be there most of the time for you and you're relying on the internet to do that which is unrealistic. you need somebody in real life that will listen to you and be there for you. a therapist, a counselor, or better yet a friend. emptyclosets.com will help you but it's not going to solve everything.

 

So, let's just say, hypothetically, that a large majority of people really do go into threads just looking to talk about themselves, or don't really care about helping others but themselves. What do the admins do about it? Kick these people that need help in their own lives just because they don't want to help others? I know people can seem selfish at times, but pretty much here is united by the fact that they have all been persecuted, depressed, or in need of help at some point in their lives.

 

I would like to quote one of my favorite bands, Avenged Sevenfold.

We all have emptiness inside; we all have answers to find.

Basically, as has been said, the majority of these people came for advice. If you don't believe me (us), look at yourself. You did the same thing.

Also, when I try and give my advice, I would prefer it if I could relate or had a similar problem beforehand. No good giving advice when you don't know what you're talking about, right? There are alot of people here who post things that I can't explain what the hell's going on, nor can I imagine it. Hence why I wouldn't post. Now, as you said, there are about 13,000 users here. I don't think I'm the lone one in this case, either.

 

Quoted for truth. I've also been here since 2008.

<---Post count

 

Post count means jack shit. It's the quality of those posts, not just posting crap in the games forum.

Not that either of you do that! But some people lean more on the lurker side of the spectrum, and I totally get that.

 

Yet... all of your threads, save for one (about a Jonas brother), have a least one reply?

A thread might get hundreds of views but only a handful of replies. There are thousands of members! Not all of them reply, or feel comfortable replying to certain topics. I myself have viewed many topics but said nothing, because I didn't feel like I could answer the question OR someone already said what I would have said.Some see it's an older topic and don't reply. Some people might not even see it! Threads get made so quickly, older topics get buried pretty fast.

But oh well. Sorry you're leaving... hope you find a better place.

 

I've never had a post ignored. This is an awesome site and I think that most people are here because they need help or want to give help because they want to give something back in thanks for the help they received. I think your expectations are unfounded.

 

bye

:smilewave

 

And let's remember the amount of users online..... currently:

Currently Active Users: 417 (48 members and 369 guests)

This means that for every 1 member online, there are 7 guests. Guests cannot respond and many are computer bots. So if you calculate this, if a thread has almost 50 views, likely only 7 member have actually seen it.... not 50 members.

 

Some of my threads get ignored, when I need help about gender identity stuff. I assume this is because there aren't that many people here with the expertise to help, which is unfortunate.

 

Hey, I'm sorry you haven't found what you sought for here. I do my best to help people when I can, but usually I'll message the person or post on their wall, or talk on the chat room. I feel terrible that you were left with nobody replying.

I hope you decide to give us another go and that people notice your post.
all the best.

 

Haha!
Bravo Danny and malachite!

 

I understand the feeling. Tis why I left [site name] and joined this site.