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Urge to Hit Something when Dysphoric?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by timelord, Apr 14, 2018.

  1. timelord

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    Sometimes I get these surges of dysphoria and/or anxiety and I feel absolutely hidious and like everyone is looking at me. When I get like this I feel like I need to hit or scratch myself or break something. It’s like there is all this energy and frustration trying to get out of my body and my skin is a cage and it can’t get out. It takes a lot of effort to hold it in, and sometimes I lose control. Why does this happen? Is it a symptom of anxiety/depression/dysphoria or is there something else going on with me? I don’t know anyone else who feels like this.
     
  2. FieTheDeer

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    It could be a symptom of another mental illness, but it could also just be the dysphoria. “Dysphoria” in reality is just a term to describe a state of extreme discomfort/malcontent or general unease, it doesn’t necessarily always have to be attached to gender, but even if it is, that doesn’t mean it always has to present as gender-related thoughts or insecurities. I experience dysphoria as a symptom of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (a type of depression), generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder (especially this one is the main cause of my rage and irritation), and from having chronic pain and it often feels the way you’re describing. Short, intense episodes of unending rage, or like my skin is crawling and I just want to tear it off of my body, mixed with paranoia and fear or panic that makes me disoriented. Sometimes it results in me panicking, crying, yelling, or just being irritable or short tempered, or self harm or making impulsive decisions. I also have friends with Bipolar Disorder and OCD who explain feeling this way a lot.

    When you feel impulsive or dysphoric and like acting out on these feelings, just try to remember that it doesn’t have to be a bad thing and you can’t take the impulsivity out of a person by hiding it or holding yourself back, otherwise it will just blow up in your face in negative ways. Listen to yourself and act out on your need to do something, but instead of self harming or yelling or something, direct your energy towards cleaning, going for a walk randomly, making something like a craft or a recipe or playing a video game. When I’m gender dysphoric and feeling low, what helps me with my confidence is cutting my hair (I just sort of played around and learned to do it myself, but you could always go get it done somewhere instead) or doing makeup or taking pictures places in difference outfits.
     
  3. Kodo

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    I get that way a lot.

    With me, I think it is a combination of mental health (bipolar) and gender dysphoria. I tend to naturally bottle up all of my emotions until they explode one day and I end up punching a wall, having a meltdown, or something of the sort.

    But... I would recommend finding a vessel for your frustration. It is perfectly natural to feel frustrated, upset, even angry or sad. It is a byproduct of dysphoria and/or depression. What I tend to do is either (a) use the negative energy as fuel or (b) practice a calming, centering activity. Below I put some things of both categories that tend to help me...

    (a) swim, workout, run, listen to rock music, play a high energy video game like a shooter, practice an instrument, sports
    (b) meditate, yoga, visit the beach or nature, go to an art museum, cook, draw, listen to calming music, do a puzzle or puzzler video game, knitting

    Take care, friend. You're not alone in this and you can get through it.
     
  4. Mikey D

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    That happens to me sometimes, but it is not caused by my dysphoria or any LGBT-related issues. With me it happens more often when I am cold, and that combines with other shit that is going on in my life or perhaps something relatively minor sets me off then gets combined with everything else. I make sure to never take it out on anyone else or let myself get visibly angry in public.