So, yes, I am a virgin. I’m 35. I was raised with the religious and moral belief that sex was only until after you’re married. My friends always talk about their hookups, or the girls they’re interested in, or the relationship status. The fact is, they’re mostly straight guys. Because of my upbringing, I can’t seem to relate to them. I have always looked at guys before I looked at girls. I find myself Fantasizing about the guys before I fantasize about the girls. I still, from time to time, “fool around” with a girl in my head. But most of the time it’s guys. Because it’s so late in my life now, I’m almost wondering if it’s not even possible any longer to attempt anything. For god sake - I’m finding gray hairs! Hahaha I get so depressed when my friends start talking about their sexual conquests, because I can’t relate. I feel so defective.
Lots of people do not come out until their late twenties or early 30s, even there is even a significant portion that do not u til they are at the end of their lives (however this has become less common as increased acceptance grows throughout most of the world). Maybe look through the later in life section a bit and see what some older people have to say, etc...
I'm older than you so please don't depress me by giving up at 35. As for the grey hairs just dye it like I have.
You're not defective, and no you're not too old to have sex or a relationship! Your story really isn't as rare as you may think. I too had a very religious upbringing and I know how it can make you feel inferior when you compare to people who have seemingly had all these experiences, and you feel like you're still at the beginning. Whether you've slept with no-one or had a million different sexual partners, it doesn't make you any less of a person. I should also say that despite this myth that being a virgin is somehow a bad or embarrassing thing (I blame "hillarious" TV comedies for that one), it makes you no less desirable to a potential future partner - they won't care! As for fantasising about guys and girls, as you probably know bisexuality (not that I'm suggesting that you are bisexual but I'm just putting the information out there) doesn't mean you have to like guys and girls equally - sometimes there is more attraction to one gender than the other, for example. So don't freak out if you think about one more than the other, or that you like guys and girls in different ways. In terms of your upbringing, is marriage something you still feel strongly about? If so, I'm sure you can find someone who shares your values or at least understands where you're coming from, though it may take time to find the right one (obviously) as marriage is a commitment you'll both want to get right! If you feel differently now and feel open to casual dating and/or sex, that option is of course open to you too. Remember, there is some bravado, especially from guys about sex and dating etc. Don't buy into the hype! Sex can be a fun experience, of course, and if you want to have sex when you're ready, you should - but don't expect a spiritual awakening! You will be the same person before and after. Don't let anyone make you feel less of a person just because you haven't had as many sexual partners. It's absolutely your choice what you want to do with your life and with your body.
