@whattodo It appears that you have a pretty good understanding of where you need to go. I applaud that. I think the self doubt is pretty common as you go through the separation. You'll come out the other side stronger, and happier. Your wife will be better off too no matter how you navigate your relationship apart. I wanted to add one of the reasons it took me forever to come out. I was taught that a husband should protect his family. That was the first principal of my life. So, when I threatened that by coming out it felt like I was tossing aside a fundamental belief and tenet of my life. I felt I was abandoning my wife. I don't think this is all that uncommon. As a husband and father your job is to protect your family. Except that by not being yourself, you are not, really, protecting them in the long term. You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first to be there for your children. You cannot do this when you have something that continues to pull you down and make you incapable of providing what your family needs. It seems a bit contradictory. But, I'm guessing in six months you will come to full realization of how your lack of fulfillment affected those around you.
Hi @whattodo1 - Yes! I see a lot of similarities in our situations. One of the big things you have going for you is that your wife is willing to talk and allow you a bit of clearly-defined freedom. @Nickw , I SO much agree with your post! A couple of weeks ago my wife noticed that I seemed depressed. Then I realized I was not moving forward but climbing back into my hole. We have to nurture our own well-being in order to nurture the well-being of our loved ones.
