Hey folks. First off I finally came out to most of my friends and some family recently! Unfortunately I lost two good friends, but everyone else has either been supportive or simply nonchalant about the whole thing. I do feel quite relieved, especially with the changing laws (yay!), but now I have a new problem… Suddenly for the first time in my life I am yearning for a companion. I can't eat, can't sleep, and can't concentrate on anything. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because my body just aches for touch. I feel extremely isolated and lonely, and am desperate to meet other queer ladies. This is really embarrassing guys, especially for an introvert like me who has always taken comfort and pride in my isolation and independence. The thing is, I don't want to want a relationship! I work 1 1/2 jobs, go to school, don't have a car, and am in the process of overcoming severe depression (thankfully no longer in danger). I wish these yearnings would just go away, either forever or until I am able to devote more time and energy into making new friends and connections. Lately I have even been avoiding my friends (all straight couples) because it makes the feelings worst. I am also scared because I have never been physically intimate or in a relationship before. Ever. Yes I live close to Seattle, which I am extremely thankful for, and I am on a few Meetup groups, but again money, time, energy, and transportation are barriers for me right now. I also missed out on all of the Pride events again due to an out of town assignment, and there are no LGBT groups at my college. *Sigh* When I was closeted I didn't have to deal with so many feelings. Is this normal? Is there a way to calm the desires? ...can I get a hug?
*hug* When you opened yourself out there, I think it was you wanting and ready to share your isolation with someone. I think you're having these desires because you feel yourself wanting another. Feelings are scary, and they are normal. The only way to calm your desires is to reach out. I know that's really hard for you as you are an introvert but you have to, in my opinion. Slowly though. One step at a time.
(*hug*) It may be partially due to the fact that some of your friendships have ended, but maybe more because you've accepted yourself more and you want to take that next step. I have also recently craved a relationship ever since I suffered from unrequited love. It seems I just can't get the thought of a lifelong mate out of my head! It was almost as if my heart and body came alive for my beloved and then had to shut down again after being rejected. I'm more of an extrovert but I've had to cut ties with a few people and that too has made me a bit more lonely. I know it can get lonely, so I'm glad you have this site! Just vent whenever you need to. We're here for you! (&&&)
