Hey guys. Monday was an awful day for me. Worse than I've experienced in a while and I'm not recovered from it yet. I got back from my step dad's to my biological fathers house, where my dog lives as well. Everything was okay for a few hours, we interacted normally, but then we started arguing about last week, when he wouldn't take me to the hospital. I genuinely didn't feel safe and wanted proper mental help, but he refused. So I improvised. I had my friend call the police and I was taken to the hospital. Our argument escalated pretty quickly and he demanded I give my phone and laptop to him, so I did. We argued again and I tried to reach for my phone, and he pushed me back, unintentionally pushing against my throat. That was scary enough. We argued even more, and eventually I just needed to be away from him so I ran outside to get some fresh air, and he followed me and grabbed me in a hug type thing, and proceeded to forcefully drag me back toward the house, letting me go when we reached the steps. I sat there for a little bit having a panic attack, and then we went back inside. He called my step dad because he didn't want anything to do with me, and said that I was incorrigible. I'm now living with my step dad for I don't know how long, and I'm constantly thinking about what happened and I miss my dog so damn much. My dad's been ignoring my texts no matter what they say, and at this point I'm kind of concerned that something happened to him. Am I a bad person for not caring, and only am worried because if something did happen to him, my dog could be in the house starving or something? Is that normal? I'm just so traumatized and worried for my dog and I don't know what to do anymore. I've been toughing it out and going to school, and I expected this all to get easier as the days go by, but it's just been getting harder. I've lost motivation to do my schoolwork, and most of the time I'm just emotionally numb. I only cry when I think about how much I miss my dog and how powerless I am in this situation. My step dad is doing everything he can to support me, as well as the rest of my step family, and for that, I'm so grateful. The problem is that he doesn't have full custody, and that if I'm not living with my dad, we might have to call a social worker and that's where everything will get messy. This is all so awful and I'm just not doing well at all. I miss my dog so much. Thanks for reading. Some kind word or possible advice would be nice.
Hello bitemvrks: I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. Since your stepdad seems to be an ally, is there any way that you could ask him to call your dad about the welfare of your dog? And would it be possible to have the dog at your stepdad's? Your dad might listen more to him than to you at this point. It might be helpful to talk to a counselor at school if you can. It's difficult enough to be motivated without all the stress you're experiencing and having a "sounding board" might be just what you need. If your father is alcoholic you may find Al-Anon to be helpful. Al-Anon is a support group for people whose friends or family members have a problem with alcohol. There's information as well as meetings online and there are face-to-face meetings too. There's information on the net about "detaching from other people's behaviour" and "setting boundaries" which you might find helpful. I'd encourage you to remember that you are not responsible for other people's (good or ill) behaviour and also encourage you to take care of your own needs as best you can: go out with friends, have some fun, get some exercise every day and try to distract yourself a little bit. None of these things is going to change the situation but it will help you cope with the stress of what you're experiencing. I hope something here is helpful to you. Keep writing if you need to. Hugs.
