Hello! One of my closest friends is transgender and she's doing her best explaining it to her mother, but so far her mother hasn't been able to understand that being transgender doesn't have to be a bad thing. I.e. My friend's mother thinks my friend will be losing her job and friends and that she'll never be able to buy a house of her own. Are there any transgender people here who have any positive stories to share so my friend has some backup in talking to her mother about it? Thank you in advance!
I don't know the specifics, but some states and employers have anti discrimination laws for both gender identity and sexual orientation. Like Walmart and Kroger both do, and they're just minimum wage businesses. Some states have anti discrimination laws as well, you can google that. That's how i know my state doesn't, but my employer does. Edit - i just realized your location is Amsterdam, which isn't in the USA. Sorry lol. All i know is my own country's state of affairs. Seriously though, google it! Google your country/county/province whatever's laws as well as that of big businesses in your friend's career ladder, and that of big area businesses. That's what i did for me w/ my sexual orientation ages ago.
About friends: If they are real good ones, you won't. I have actually good support there. But I am afraid the mother of your friend is right to be worried. We transpeople have to fight a lot harder for keeping the social class we're born in and I won't start about working to the top. I am basically unable to use my current ID card because people think it's fake when they see a young man in front of them. Take problems serious and think about which might occur in the business/life plans of your friend so she won't be totally clueless and unprepared. And adress them to her mother: Show that you have your thoughts too and know how to deal with harder times. For example: I can imagine she will need something to stuff her bras and some rougher treatment against her body hair. The costs are not to be taken lightly and it's basic capital she will be missing.
Most of the people who come to these forums are still in the process of transitioning, so most of us are still struggling during the different stages of transitioning and trying to cope with the different challenges that the world is throwing at us. Once a person completes the transition process they usually try to avoid being reminded of their past and the body they used to have, so a support forum might not be very useful for them and they often leave the forums. What might help your friend are books written by trans women and men that have completed the journey and that present a realistic view of the challenges faced along the way and how a person grows as a person and finds a sense of self and stability as a result of transitioning. A great book I read that helped me understand things a bit better was: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano. Keep in mind that her life story was, like most trans people, really hard but it does have a relatively happy ending. Serano's book explains well the complicated reality faced by trans women and she writes things in a clear and intelligent manner. She's also really inspiring. There are quite a few books written in various styles that range from inspiring to sad. Just look for transition stories of trans women and men on amazon or any other site that sells books. Read the reviews and find a book that tells a positive and hopeful story. I hope things work out for your friend, it's great that she has you as a friend.
