1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Transgendered

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by natg, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. natg

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Dear community,

    I have lived my 30 first years as a man, with each passing day making it more clear that my true nature is to live as a woman, in a woman's body. I've been a woman for a few days (only !) now when I'm home but I feel that I have a much longer path before I can fully enjoy my life as a girl.

    My question is primarily adressed to more experienced transgendered persons… I have always been interested in women, sexually, but as a general company as well… Will that change ? Sometimes when I'm a woman at home, and have not had a man's body for days, I have sexual fantasies for men, which is really surprising to me (but not too disturbing, since it also appears as change, a proof that I am changing).

    But I still love women so much that I really feel that won't cease at all and I will love them just as much :kiss:… Problem is, as far as I have searched, leabian and Bi cis women don't seem to be interested at all in mtf persons… I know it is a mere generalization, but since lesbians and bi women are (amazingly to me) still a minority, if those of them being potentially attracted to me are a minority inside a minority… Will I be alone like all my life ? Or do I really have to make the leap and let me being operated as soon as possible (before I am too old) ? What would be your advice, your experience. Can you help me understand that my sex/love life will be if I fully start my life as the woman I have always dreamed to be ?

    best wishes

    Natalie.
     
  2. Katchoo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2016
    Messages:
    836
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::welcome::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:

    I'm not trans, but I dont think most people experience attraction change during transition, other than finally feeling more free to explore who they might like without feeling like they "should" be attracted to anyone in particular.
     
  3. natg

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Free might be the key point indeed… Thank you Katchoo
     
  4. midwestgirl89

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm not trans either but I've seen videos on Youtube from different trans people and I have a friend who is trans. Ack sorry that sounds lame of me. Transitioning as far as I know doesn't "change" who you are attracted to. Sexuality in general for everyone is fluid. You could randomly think oh hey that guy is hot one day but still love women.

    Again I can't speak on this really because I'm not trans but my (unwarranted) opinion is that you should only have surgery when/if you feel ready instead of worrying about transitioning for dating partners. Your journey is about making you happy in your own body, not about other people.

    You won't be alone all of your life. There are lesbian/bi women that don't give a rat's ass (sorry for the language) about body parts. Having surgery or not having surgery doesn't change you being a woman. :icon_wink I would date a trans woman if I was attracted to her physically/emotionally and they hadn't had surgery. Having a legitimate human connection to someone is rare .. Love is love.
     
  5. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,836
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome!! Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on making these brave steps in expressing the real you. You've come to a great place, this is a very supportive community. I myself am not trans, but there are other members on here who may have personal insight for you.

    Keep posting and reading others' stories.
     
  6. tinamg

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2016
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I am a 59 year old trans woman that just transitioned a couple of years ago. I am having my GRS in 2 months (can't wait). I never thought I was ever attracted to men when I lived as one but after a year on hormones I started thinking differently. I know other trans woman who only are interested in men, even though they were once married to a woman.

    As I moved further along in my transition I have come to the understanding that I am mostly still attracted to woman. I consider myself a lesbian but perhaps a little bi also.

    Everyone is different because sexuality has nothing to do with gender. You will find who you are, just give it time.
     
  7. Thessa Blossom

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vienna
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I'm not sure what label I should give myself. I had only relationships with woman but I had a few sexual encounters with men when I was younger. Still I would have labeled myself as a straight man back then.

    Now after more than seven months on hormones I start noticing men. So for example if I see a strong upper arm or a six pack it like "...OMG look at this..." and I start to wonder if and how a relationship with a man could look like. Maybe this has something to do with my deep disappointment in my last relationship with my wife or maybe I was bi all the time but I was repressing if due to internalized homophobia.

    Still at the moment I tend to label myself as lesbian with bi tendencies.

    From my point of view, hormones don't change your orientation but sometimes the unearth things that have been there all the time and have been suppressed due to different reasons.

    jm2c :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Thessa Blossom, Jul 30, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2016
  8. DaniC

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2016
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birmingham, AL
    I can say that I know that there are cisgender women that may identify however they choose as heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, that are interested in transwomen.

    I sum it up to different strokes for different folks. I really think there is someone out there for everyone. Just think about it from talking to anyone about who they are or aren't attracted to. There isn't this one ideal model of human attractiveness. Some like their partners to be tall, thin and with brown hair. Some on the other hand prefer a little shorter, curvier, and with red hair. It doesn't matter if you speak to men or women who in turn prefer men or women, you'll find that they all have different preferences in what they are attracted to. So yeah, be true to yourself. There will be people who are interested in you for who you are.
     
  9. Willa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    193
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Virginia
    (Non-binary trans person married to a transwoman)

    Some people experience changes in their sexual attraction/orientation during transition, other people don't. Everyone's journey through authentic gender expression is unique. Most commonly, someone undergoing gender transition, whether it's medical, social, or both, finds it necessary to experiment a little with partners previously unconsidered.

    My wife has been in transition for about three years. When she first started living her life as a woman, after years and years of living as a straight man, she did experiment with relationships with men. It was an experience she needed to have, but it didn't end up being something she went back to. She loves women. It's a huge part of who she is. But she's glad she tried, just to see what it felt like.

    Honestly, this isn't something anyone can predict for you. Ultimately, your gender and your sexuality are not linked. There's who you are, and then there's who you like, and those two factors are completely separate. But they are also both fluid. They change in small ways all the time, and in big ways occasionally, for some of us. If your orientation shifts, okay then, it shifts. If it doesn't, congratulations, you're a lesbian. It isn't something to worry about. Take each unique experience as it comes, and don't worry about ascribing too much meaning to the feelings that you have. You are so wide-open and vulnerable right now. Nothing is certain, and that's okay. Go with the flow. You have your whole life to define yourself.

    Please know that you are beautiful, you are brave, and you are precious. Deciding to start living your most authentic and healthy self is so noble. You are a strong and capable and courageous woman! I wish you all the best.

    Remember to have fun discovering yourself. Let it be an adventure.